Loss at 22 weeks

Hello, last month has been crazy. I had a regular/ boring pregnancy my doctor would tell me. Until, I took the blood test at 18 weeks. Came back with high levels of positive something or other... doctor told me I needed a advance ultrasound- doctor found a gap in my baby girls back. I was then scheduled for an MRI. She was positive for Spina Bifida. She has a gap in her lower back- and no brain issues yet- but would be monitored. We talked about going for fetal surgery- but with this surgery relocation would be needed from week 28-37 where ever we had the surgery.

Sadly, my husband and I decided to say good bye to our little girl—- it has been the hardest time in my life. I am so upset inside and out... I don’t know how I move on.

I hold everything in- all of my feelings- and it is so hard. I am so emotional- i feel so many mixed feelings...

How do I move on!!!