I must be a terrible person. No other explanation.

I’ll make the first part short and sweet. Delivered my son May 24, 2017. Knew I had connection issues on the same day. I had the worst year, bruised my tailbone, got an ear infection, got Bell’s palsy, had thrush and endometritis all at the SAME TIME. I lost 40 pounds in 10 days. I was dying. Plain and simple. And if I wasn’t going to die from the sicknesses, I was for sure going to kill myself. I couldn’t not live like this. Puking my guts 24/7, literally. No doctor could figure out whyyyyy I would get better at the hospital but then return to being the way I was at home. After I think maybe my fourth visit to the ER and enough screaming “I’m going to kill myself” they finally did something. I was diagnosed with PPD. I was hospitalized for a month. I’ve been on medication ever since then. EDIT: since then, I’m pretty much back to my old self. Just with the reliance of medication. My psychiatrist believes that if I do get pregnant, my hormones will go back to normal :)

But my body was shutting down. It stopped fighting for me. And I swear it’s doing it again.

I’ve had a sinus infection for 2 weeks, and it’s getting worse, I have strep throat. My face is nasty with pimples everywhere (I’ve literally had maybe 1 my whole life) I work up and couldn’t open my eye, got it open.. PINKEYE, OF COURSE. I cannot sleep because my nose and throat. Hurts to breathe out my mouth, too stuffed up to breathe out my nose. That’s been happening for 3 days. I’ve slept 6 hours in three days (thanks Fitbit) I’m getting stupid skin tags pop up in weird places and I’m about to rip them off. My carpel tunnel is back after almost 2 years. AND, I’ve been trying to get pregnant for a long time now, had two miscarriages since December, and then got my period 3 days early this cycle. So I’m currently on it.HORMONAL, and I hadn’t seen my husband or son for more than 1 hours in two weeks because I’ve been on the safternoon shift at my work, which i would hardly call it afternoon since I go in at5:45pm and work until 4:15-am.

Gah! I’m struggling so hard right now.

OH, and my brand new dryer doesn’t dry clothes and 2 techs came out to tell me it should be working... YOU THINK?? So now I don’t even know what to do on that part.

I must have to be a terrible person for all this to happen too, right?

Sorry for the long post/rant.