I’ve been ttc since August, month after month I’ve gotten a negative test or my period so this month I decided to take a break with all the testing and tracking and my poor hubby has like no sex drive so if we aren’t ttc we went back to our regular dancing which is only like three times a month although he did something different for the first time this month, I was entering my normal daily data and I noticed it was ovulation day so I mentioned it to him in passing and this man surprised me by asking his boss if he could take a little bit of a longer lunch the next day, I usually make us all lunch and me and my daughter take a nap and he comes home eats and goes back to work while we’re napping, so he got his longer lunch and came home and woke me up and went all out making it all about my pleasure, eating me out, and then making me orgasm over and over again, I was shaking and I could literally feel my eyes rolling to the back of my head, it was fantastic spent the whole hour pleasing me and he skipped his eating lunch y’all, the only thing he wanted for lunch was me. 😍 he literally wore me out let’s just say I let my daughter take a longer nap that day... cause my hubby literally put me to sleep. Besides that day we had only had sex three other times this month so like once a week? And he usually never starts it so I was literally blown away...but then again the poor guy was so not happy about wanting to take a break from ttc but emotionally I just couldn’t do it this month..the constant testing and then negative tests I cried for hours after every single one and then some of the closest people to me are pregnant or having kids...my best friend accidentally got his side chick pregnant, my other best friend had a baby a year ago and then got pregnant with this one on birth control and then my cousin who had a baby eight months ago started trying for baby number two in February and got pregnant after only trying for a month..me and my best friends are very close, they’re the only two friends I have...they share absolutely everything with me so I’ve been there every step of the way..and only one of them know we’ve been trying, hell only three people know and they all just tell me it’ll happen when it happens but I can’t help but fall apart after every time I visit the newborn and my pregnant friend or even after they just call to update me...I’m so happy for them but I’m so sad for me... my heart aches and I feel I can’t even share that with anyone so I just couldn’t take this month and another negative test so I stopped everything and now my period is three days late and I’m deathly terrified of peeing on that damn stick and getting a negative result besides my boobs feeling sore as usual there is no other sign of af coming and even though that’s the case I don’t want to get my hopes up so I really feel like waiting to test because I feel like if I just wait for af I won’t be as hurt because I expected her to come because I didn’t do all the tests and everything... sorry this is so long, I just needed to rant to some ladies that will understand my situation and won’t just tell me it’ll happen when it happens after how hard we’ve been trying cause that doesn’t comfort me at all..And I just need comfort.. I’m not sure how to end this post but I’m hoping everyone who continued to try this month gets their little bean, and anyone who didn’t I’m sending baby dust your way and hope your having a wonderful day 💕