Break up because of inlaws?

I'm on the verge of ending things with my BF because of his family. It sounds insane even just typing it out. Or saying it in my head. But I cannot deal with the amount of disrespect, and flat out rudeness I receive from his family over almost 4 years. I love my BF to bits, we have a family, a life, goals, plans for the future.

There are sooooo many things that his family has done/said to me, or behind my back and Im getting so close to my breaking point.

Some examples:

- his sister has wine dates with his ex wife and they trash talk about me

- Christmas dinner last year we announced we were expecting. After we left his sister said to everyone "hopefully she has a miscarriage".

- his family have nothing to do with our baby. Didn't come to gender reveal, baby shower and also Didn't come to hospital when he was born, didn't visit after he was born, ask about our baby, ask for pictures, visit him, invite him (us) to children events or outings

- favor his child from previous marriage and do everything to see and support that child

- expect me to reach out and make amends with his ex wife (who physically assaulted me)

- ignore/avoid me at any family events

- babysit and watch his other child but won't for our baby

- ignore all my calls or texts ( regardless of an emergency, which has happened).

- constantly budding into our relationship, and offering up unsolicited "advice"

- refuse to come to our home

- come and pick up his child from previous marriage from our home but refuse to take our son too

- won't allow me to be in family photos and I quote " don't want to explain to their kids who I am later when I'm not around"

- refuse to meet my family

- his mom refused to come visit when baby was born because my boyfriend "already had a baby and they were there for that birth". She met him once in 9 months, which was 2 weeks ago. And she didn't spend any time with him. She spent all her time with his daughter.

- feed my baby things I tell them he can't have

- undermine me infront of our kids (mainly just the 5 yo right now)

- treat me like an outsider

These are just some of the things I've endured over the last 4 years. It causes huge arguments in our relationship. I don't understand why they dislike me so much. I'm nothing but polite, quiet and respectful to them. I try really hard to try to extend the olive branch to start over, or fix things and I get ignored.

My BF says he fights with his dad all the time because of how he treats me and his dad continues to be disrespectful towards me. My question is: why does he need to continue to fight with his dad about this when he told him how he feels? I would never allow my family to talk or treat my BF like that. Maybe it could happen once (which it never has, my family treats him like their own son), but I would address it immediately.

I know it is so wrong to ask my BF to choose between our family and the life we built together, and his family. And I don't want to do that. But I'm just not sure how much more I can handle. I asked him tonight if we can take a break from his family so we can focus on our family, and he was pretty upset. I don't want him to chose between us, but I want him to make it clear to his family that disrespecting me and our son is unacceptable and there is consequences. Meaning we won't be attending family dinners, he won't be answering his dad's 5 calls/DAY, they are not allowed to take his daughter (on our parenting time) unless they take both kids, and they absolutely need to stop disrespecting me and apologize for how they've been treating me.

Do you think I'm being unreasonable? What would you do? How would you react? What do I do? I'm exhausted and emotional drained from being "hated" all the time no matter what I do.