Come gather round children as I tell you the story of my transfer! 😑

I was told 18-20oz of water an hour before. We live about 30 mins from the clinic so I had finished it all by the time we got there.

We go in to the OR to prep, and they check my bladder. Nope. I didn’t drink enough. The doctor at that point seemed kind of upset, and said “Well, I can put a catheter in you and fill up your bladder.” Um... no?

My body has been through enough and I told her I don’t care if I have to drink more and wait another hour.

So they handed me two bottles of water and I stayed in there chugging it down. All was fine and dandy until it felt like I HAD TO HAVE DIARRHEA.

I literally was trying to hold it in, but I finally told the nurse. I’m like “Um... I think I need to poop.” And so I was given a mission that many have yet to accomplish: poop without peeing.

That’s right.

I shuffled off to the bathroom and with all the fucking power in me, I sat there mortified as diarrhea came out and I just kept saying “DON’T. FUCKING. PEE.”

I didn’t. Guys, I was so proud. At that point I actually felt like my bladder was full so I told the nurses and they brought the sonographer back in.

BUT! Guess what. Now I was SHAKING because i chugged two bottles of ice cold water in an ice cold sterile OR. My legs were shaking so much against each other I felt like I was a grasshopper and was about to start making music.

So the nurses piled, I kid you not, ten warm blankets on me. They put them around my head. Everywhere. I looked like a psychopath.

The rest of the transfer went fine. Here’s hoping I never have to do this again.