Oookay. I’m 25 and have two sisters, one is 20 and the other one is 15. The 20 year old one (I’ll call her R) and I used to be super close but a few things happened that caused us to grow apart a bit. Over the past two years, we kind of reconnected because she got pregnant and needed advice. However, there were still issues, that I tried to ignore because well, family is family but this time... not so sure.

So two years ago (early 2017) we both got pregnant at the same time. It was her first and my second so she needed advice throughout her pregnancy and such and I was happy to give it to her but I made the mistake of telling her the name me and my partner had chosen to name our little boy. Me and my husband really loved the name and it was perfect for our little one so I was excited to tell my sister, in pure confidence, just as a bonding thing, you know? Well she said “Oh thank you for the idea I love the name!!!” Since she was due in September and me only in November it was inevitable that she would give birth before me, therefore would be able to steal our name. I tried to change her mind a hundred times but she REFUSED TO!!!!!!

In the end, it all worked out because she had a girl (and I don’t think there’s any girls with our boy’s name lmao) but still! That was the first big red flag.

Fast forward to this afternoon, we are both pregnant again (I’m due in August and she’s due in September). This time, I thought we wouldn’t have this problem because I’m due before her but boy... was I ever wrong.

I miscarried last September at 7 weeks. I’m honestly still struggling with this every day and even though we have another one on the way, I’m still mourning the loss of our baby which we found out through genetic testing was a boy. I told very few people about this and only two people the name we would have named him (my sister included) I wanted to talk about it to my sister, as I really needed to talk to someone about it and she looked at me and was like “Hey... I know you’re still upset over all of this but I wanted to tell you that we have decided to name our kid (name of my angel baby).

I started crying.

I don’t cry, hardly ever. But there’s a few things that will trigger me, and this was definitely one of them. She didn’t even ask if it was okay, she just told me “That’s our baby’s name”. I’m so... speechless. I’m heartbroken all over again. My husband has tried to comfort me all evening but all the memories of the miscarriage are stuck in my head again and I can’t stop crying. I started to write this to tell all of you... please don’t do that to someone who miscarried six months ago... the wound was just starting to close on my heart and now it’s opened all over again.

I hung up on my sister after she said it. I don’t feel bad about it. I only feel bad because I trusted her, again, only to get hurt, again...

Some will say that it’s just a name... but for me it isn’t. It will always be my little angel’s name. Could not stand calling my nephew by that name.

Now I have six months to change her damn mind, if I ever dare to talk to her again.

UPDATE

Someone asked if she knew it was the name we had chosen...

As I stated, she was one of two people (besides my mother) THAT KNEW THE NAME.

So yes, she knew the name, and brought it up like that: “I know you’re still upset over the miscarriage but we have decided to name our baby *baby name*.

She didn’t forget.

UPDATE #2:

Just in case you were curious...

First name she tried to steal: Xavier (she had a girl, named her Romy)

Second name that we chose for 👼🏻 : Kaël ( like Mikaël, french name of Michael)

UPDATE #3:

Thank you all so much for your support. Some of you guys are hilarious 😂 I talked with my mom. She was so angry, but so sad. She said that my sister looked up to me a lot and wanted to honour our loss. I still don’t get why she chose to bring it up the way she did, though. I’m still heartbroken. I still don’t want to talk to her. I’m waiting for a sincere apology and maybe a freaking back massage. Not by her though. Ew.