Is this emotional manipulation?

Question

The person I’m dating suffers from anxiety & it’s something I have very little experience with so I’m looking for help so I don’t end up being an emotional crutch for him. The other night I was over at his place and he was getting ready for bed & I told him I wasn’t sleeping over, then he said he wants me to sleepover because he’s having anxiety I offered to sleepover. Then another time we hung out and everything was fine shortly after I left I tweeted a meme about men that I thought was harmless (we are not in a relationship but we are exclusive) and he texted me saying the thing I tweeted caused him to have anxiety so I deleted it. Is that how anxiety works or is he manipulating me? He’s defínete a little insecure I’ve seen it but idk if this is a red flag of emotional manipulation

Answer

RED FLAG ALL DAY LONG!!! Anxiety is tricky and it’s different for everyone. BUT that’s not my problem with this. He tells you he has anxiety every time he isn’t getting what he wants or if he sees something you’re doing that he doesn’t like. To top it off, you guys aren’t even in a relationship and you’re changing the things you’re doing for him. To compare, what if you met a new FRIEND, just a friend, that started treating you like this? You’d be over it, right? Same thing with this guy. Pay attention to what “gives him anxiety” and when. If it’s every time YOU do something, he’s manipulating you. If you aren’t about it, you can leave. There’s no shame in it. There’s plenty of people who do have anxiety that will never throw it in your face or make you feel like you’re the cause for it.

Answer

I think the problem with people today is that they use anxiety as an excuse for unacceptable behavior.

Answer

Anxiety or not, it is never OK to use your feelings to manipulate another person a.k.a. get what you want. Sometimes people with anxiety do this completely subconsciously and don’t even realize what they are doing. So in that sense, I would say that he probably doesn’t understand that he’s doing that. But that does not make it OK. He should be dealing with these feelings on his own or with a therapist instead of trying to control your behavior. It could certainly get worse in the future if you continue to cater to it. There is a certain level of reassurance that is perfectly fine to give to people with anxiety. When they use the anxiety to get what they want from you instead of using their coping skills to deal with their feelings, that’s when you have to stand up for yourself. Figure out what you are willing to do as far as reassurance, and stand up for yourself about anything else. This is coming from a person who has anxiety and has been in his shoes before. You have to work on your own self because you can’t control other people. And if someone never told me that they weren’t going to cater to my bullshit, I never would have realized what I was doing and gotten help.

Answer

I don’t know if he’s just trying to be open with you or if he’s manipulating you but that sounds like it’ll get exhausting real quick.

Answer

I suffer from anxiety, and that’s not really how anxiety works. You shouldn’t have to change your life to please him. I’m not really sure, though. It’s strange to me that he would tell you that something you posted have him anxiety. If I were you, I’d block him on social media and see what happens.

Answer

I have anxiety. I’ve had it pretty bad for most of my life. At this point, I don’t let it rule me and can usually talk my self down. Part of mine is separation anxiety. So I understand him not wanting you to leave. But at the same time. My boyfriend doesn’t always spend the night because of it. It’s something I have to learn to deal with. Don’t get me wrong. My bf is amazing at helping me. But it’s also not his job. It’s something I need to fix by myself. I feel like the meme thing is maybe just a bit of his insecurities. And you shouldn’t delete or change because of that. Even if it is anxiety. Which it is different for everyone. But in my opinion. He has to learn how to deal with it. You can’t stop being you or living your life. Being sensitive to his issues and bowing down to them are completely different things. Idk. Just my opinion 🤷‍♀️

Is this emotional manipulation?

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