Today I am just having one of those especially difficult days. I notice that this happens to me whenever my schedule is thrown off.

My husband is the stay at home parent (because I make more money).

Mornings are tough. I tip toe around as I get ready so I don’t wake our 17 month old so that he and my husband can sleep in. I walk our two dogs, make my lunch and tea. I set up my kids breakfast so it’s a quick fix for my husband after they wake up. Then it’s bittersweet as I try to squeeze in every last second with my son after wakes up before I head out the door. Usually changing his diaper and watching him eat. I sadly blow him a kiss and tell him I love him one last time before I leave. Then I go to work.

We only have one car and we only live about a mile and a half from my job. So I usually walk. This morning I got halfway to work and realized that I left my key fob thing at home. I need this thing for my job - like couldn’t work without it. So I walked all the way back to get it.

I know I’m being overly sensitive but it felt like a slap in the face to see my husband and son happily playing and laughing together. While I had to then walk all the way back to the office. My husband slowly (as if he didn’t actually want to do it but felt obligated to offer) said “well I can put a sweater on him and drive you in”. I told him to enjoy the car and left.

Now I’ve had the busiest workday ever. Haven’t had a chance to sit since 8:30am (it’s almost 2).

I just keep thinking how much more I’d rather be playing with my son and taking him to story-time and - heck, even just calming a tantrum!

Sometimes it all just really sucks.

Okay, sorry for the overly emotional rant.