Would you deal with this?

Question

My fiancée's sister overstepped a major boundary the last time we visited with her. She wouldn't put our son down for a minute even to eat when we were at a restaurant and also at one point referred to herself as "mom" when talking to him. Throughout the entire evening she was walking around like he was a fashion accessory and like he was her kid and totally disregarded anything me or my fiancée had to say about anything as his parents. I felt totally disrespected and like an obvious unspoken boundary was crossed. I want to limit being around her. My fiancée doesn't see this as being a huge deal and doesn't see why I was hurt about it as a mother.

Oh and on a side note, she wants to do everything we do just because we do something. For example she had no interest in settling down and now all of a sudden since we got engaged and had a baby, she gave her boyfriend an ultimatum that she would leave him if he didn't propose to her within 3 months.

How would you feel if in this situation and what would you do?

UPDATE:
Also, she's not a good person. She cheated on her ex boyfriends, is materialistic, fake, not someone I would associate with. We would not trust her with him alone, that's something we both can agree about. She didn't want to hold him much or make a big deal about him behind closed doors but when we went out in public in her neighborhood she took over the roll of mom through both her actions and when she called herself "mom" which makes it obvious that's what she was thinking .

Answer

It seems like she's really jealous, she sees what you ahve and wants it. You should be flattered.

The mom thing is weird though

Answer

I think holding him is fine, but saying she's 'mom' is absolutely not okay! 
I would voice your concerns to your finance in a non agressive/confrontational way and just explain your feelings about the situation and try to come up with a solution. 
If he doesn't want to hear it or doesn't want to do anything about the issue, I'd wait until something similar happens again and then talk to him again AND the sister that time.

Answer

She sounds like an excited auntie who sees you guys as the life she aspires to have.

Relax. You could have far worse than a SIL who wants to spoil your kid and settle down for her own family. My SIL and I don't even speak.

Answer

I think holding him and spoiling him is normal when I see my nieces or newphews if I can I'll hold them forever. That's normal to love the baby. But to refer to the baby as being its mom that's weird but as for the other stuff I think your just reading into it. Maybe since she sees how happy her brother is settling down and having a family she probably feels she wants that life to look at is a complement

Answer

The only problem here is the "mom" thing. Really that's the only thing that is really inappropriate. Next time you here her say that say "you mean auntie" and just give her a "firm smile".

Otherwise what you have there is an excited aunt who will completely take your loved one off your hands for a half a day. Maybe next time don't go out to eat with family have a romantic meal with the SO take advantage.

And maybe seeing you cute bundle made her biological clock explode. Like "I need to get married and have babies STAT". I have been that happen.

Answer

She is a doting aunty.. It is normal for someone to want to settle down after seeing a sibling do so, you should be flattered and appreciate that she cares for your baby so much. Maybe you just have to be a big more assertive with her and take bub back when she is overstepping your boundaries. If it were me personally I would be just enjoying the free time..

Answer

Tell her straight,  its your child she's taking over. I would never feel awkward standing up for my kids

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I've had to steal my daughter away from my SIL more than once and she ignores my husband and I when we say anything regarding our daughter. I finally had to say something because I was feeling disrespected.  Since then it has been a little better.  If you can find a calm way of discussing it with her I would recommend it sooner rather than later.

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Ya you need to talk to this woman face to face. Could solve you a lot of head aches down the road

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I wouldn't be to much offended the only thing i see wrong is the fact that she didnt put her down at all i would have stepped in then. Howevet My sister got engaged and had kids and it made me really clucky and wanted to get married and about 1 1/2 yrs later we got engaged married last year and now ttc. Sometimes having people in your life who have kids or getting married makes you realise thats what u want and u surround yourself with those people. Its only natural to be clucky and be obsessed with holding kids and babies ect and weddings also. Communicate to her how u feel like when she isnt putting her down referring to herself as mum not aunty ect

Would you deal with this?

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