I am too old. Seriously, but I still try it’s so stupid.

I feel so dumb writing this. I have written before, but I needed to reach out again. I’m just so sad because I met a new person that is younger than me and he is really my soul mate but he wants kids and I am too old. I was so fertile before, I had my first at 40 my second at 42. I am 47 and just so sad I wasn’t with him even 2 years ago. My relationship ended really a year and a half ago and I tried to leave 3 years ago it was very emotionally abusive. I just got out and am with my best friend but he is much younger Than me and wants his own kids. I feel so sad. I have been sort of trying, but it wasn’t working but now he lives with me and I can time it just right but I just feel so sad and stupid I even try.