So, we lost our second baby at 10 weeks. My really close friend and I were 4 months apart. I thought it would be so hard but if a struggle but not too hard. I was in the delivery room and watched the whole thing. I loved it. It was actually a bit of comfort to me. It wasn’t that beautiful baby’s fault I lost my bean or my friends. I still loved my friend to death and I was there for her. 5 months later I got pregnant with our son Beau, again but this time my cousin and I were a few weeks apart. She just had her son on the 23rd and Beau was supposed to be due April 9th and sadly he got his wings at 22 weeks this past November. Am I supposed to be mad? I’m not. Am I supposed to cry and fall into a deep depression? I’m not. I mean I cry and I miss my son so so much but I also have a 13 year old daughter who needs me too. I know my babies are in heaven not in pain and with my grannies, aunts, papa, uncles all being loved on. I know we all grieve in our own ways and no way am I putting anyone down but am I supposed to be feeling this way? When I first lost Beau I was mad. I was so mad at God. Why would he let me go through this AGAIN this time having to birth my baby and not being able to bring him home? But you know what? He is home. He just went sooner than the rest of us. I will see my babies again. Til than they’re in my heart and soul. Keep on living mamas. Our babies are all up there together playing and giggling together watching over us, their mamas. Love you all ❤️💙❤️💙