Help I am going crazy

I recently lost my grandfather I didnt want to believe it till I know for sure so when the neighbor and my grandfather girlfriend had called me to come because he just pass away so the sheriff had my mother and I go in and clam his body. Now I am going crazy I can't stop thinking about his lifeless body. It's weird cause cause the Friday before I had seen in walking and talking around with laughter and helping me then on the night before about 5pm I had called him to check on him and making plans to come see him on Sunday morning for brunch and plan what we were going to do for his 80th birthday. He was so excited. Even though he only been actively in my life for ten and Half years. I don't don't know how I feel. It's like I am sad that I lost him yet I am glad that he not sick any more with high blood pressure, but I also feel mad and feel some emotion that I never felt before. t I am not mad. He was a veteran for the Navy and I was and still proud for him he fought for our freedom. There are so many people to call. My mind has a lot of questions. If only the dead could talk like my grandfather if he could talk to me and tell me the what events happen before he died it would make more sense to me. I am just going crazy. Is this normal this is not norm first my great grandparents die then in 2005 my father died then a two years later one of other grandfather died then this year my grandmother died two months ago and now a week ago on Sunday night he had died please someone tell me this is a dream that I am having a hard time waking up from. I just don't want to believe this real I have been asking why how did this come about. What cause this. I guess its part of life