Pee on a stick phobic

I’ve seen so many woman taking test after test. I’m the opposite and completely terrified of peeing on a stick. I hate the stark white result. The letdown and the heartache. If I don’t test, there’s still hope in my head that I am pregnant. I’m officially 2 days late and I’m still scared to test!! I have been cramping for over a week now, but I remember cramping a lot during my first pregnancy as well. My boobs are sore to the point I can’t touch them, but that’s it 🤷🏼‍♀️ no other symptoms 🤷🏼‍♀️ I mean, I’m tired and nap a lot, but that’s nothing new. Idk, I just wish there were more clear signs so we just knew one way or the other!