I've tried for masturbate many times and I wont allow myself to orgasm. I'm all the way in it but right before it happens I get in my own head and I feel a great deal of shame.

I grew up with a very religious and abusive father (no shade towards anyone who is religious. It plays a part in my problem). He is out if my life now and I am slowly recovering from past personal issues, feeling way better :)

He told me from a young age that masturbation was for men and as a girl I should never do it because God would send me to hell. Basically it was very wrong for me to do it. Every time I'm close to climax, that's in my mind and I cant.

Any tips?

It is a complex situation but if anyone can relate or has some similar experiences, I would love to hear your stories