Rant post 😤😩

Our baby is 10 weeks old. I’m trying not to be so strict about things and be a “cool mom” but there’s a few things that are “basics” for me. Like washing or sanitising my hands before touching him especially if I touched things that other people did too and of course after using the toilet. I’m asking everyone to wash their hands before touching my baby. Now there’s daddy, my boyfriend, and I don’t know if all the men are doing this or just him, but he’s constantly touching his penis. Just like a habit or I don’t know... I already told him not to touch the baby after doing this or go and clean his hands first, but I have to remind him all the time and it makes me so angry. I can’t talk to him nicely anymore. And also because I feel like taking care of our baby comes like an instinct to me, if he’s crying or uncomfortable I usually know how to calm him and what he needs. My boyfriend doesn’t and is not really trying to figure out, he just lets him cry while laying on the bad scrolling on his phone or laptop.. I feel like I can’t trust him around the baby and he’s not listening to me. When I tell him he doesn’t like this or that position, try that way, he doesn’t, he’s like “oh he must be hungry” or “ ir he sick, what’s wrong” but he’s not stupid, He must know that he’s not sick or anything. He’s just lazy to do things “properly”. When I go to have a shower and leave them together, my son is screaming so bad. I come in, find them on the bed, my boyfriend is on his phone, baby’s crying laying on his back (he hates laying down). He wouldn’t pick him up or put him in the rocker or anything. Mommy will do everything. Nappy changes, bath time, everything.

Tonight this

penis touching then baby touching happened again and I got so mad like why is it so fucking difficult to clean your hands??? Or try and get to know your son as he’s yours too so I could maybe wash my hair or clean our room or cook dinner or something.

I feel like after giving birth the love between us just kind of went away or I don’t know. I feel different ad he does too. We are so different. And many problems didn’t come up before having the baby. I don’t know what should I do I just feel so alone in parenthood. He always forgets everything, starts a 100 thing at once but never finishes any of it and I didn’t care before having a baby but now it’s just annoying. And I’m so sad and ashamed about feeling this way. What do you ladies think? How do you get on with your partners after having a baby?? Is he helping out?? How?

Am I overreacting it?