Shout out to all parents because I am sucking

I’m a nanny to three kids that lost their mother to cancer last year. They are 9,6, and 3 years old. They are SUCH a handful. I’ve worked with kids for 5 years and I’ve never felt as incapable as I do with these kids. I know they act out because their world crumbled around them, and I’m just not qualified or experienced enough to provide them with the care they deserve!

I’m not a therapist, though I go to therapy myself which helps. My therapist gives me ideas. I’m 23 years old and don’t know wtf I’m doing in terms of discipline and consistency, especially when 2/3 of the kids are screaming half the time. And i feel so guilty whenever I allow them to watch tv or eat candy... if they don’t get what they want they freak the fuck out and I don’t know how to redirect their energy... but if I give in they think I’m a pushover and also misbehave more with increased screen time/sugar.

The worst part is how unsupported I feel by the dad, who obviously is going through his own grieving process. But he is really hard to communicate with and barely speaks to his children without raising his voice.

This is just a really, really tough situation. AM I A SPINELESS GARBAGE NANNY?