I think we're done. ~vent session~

We tried for 8 months and got pregnant last year. Unfortunately, when I was 28 weeks, I lost her and I delivered her stillborn. It took some months to finally feel complete again. We started trying again in January. And this March was my third cycle and nothing. On my birthday, when my period started we decided that we are done trying.

I have been wanting to go to school for years now and it's finally a good time. I signed up for my last gen eds at a community college. And I will be starting nursing school in the fall. Although I'm really excited I'll finally be an RN, I'm a little hurt. The past 2 years we've spent wishing for a baby and being ready for one. And now that doesn't matter. The nursery is becoming an office we aren't tracking ovulation anymore. It's over.

It makes me feel old. I just turned 26 and I see lots of moms having their babies at this age. But not me me... not anymore. When I finish nursing school I'll be 28. I keep telling myself that this is part of God's plan. He knows what he has planned for us. And with me having a higher education, when it comes time that we do have children I'll be able to provide so much more to them.

My husband is so supportive though. Hes given me all I could ever want and need. He was approached by his boss, that hes going to take his spot, and his boss is taking the owners spot. My husband has a lot to learn in the coming year. Hes been asking for a raise and with a raise he got a promotion. So many good things, but lots of stressful times coming. Now it's time to buckle down and work hard for our future.

Mind you... we aren't tracking or trying. But we aren't preventing.

Please wish us luck to keep our sanity during these next few years!