Hello! This is a long one but I want to give as much background info as possible!

I could really do with some advice please because I am quite torn.

I am currently 9 weeks and 6 days pregnant. It’s my second pregnancy but will be my first baby as I had a miscarriage in August 2018. I have a lot more symptoms with this baby and I feel confident and positive about it (or at least I’m trying to!), but we have had some complications already. I had a big bleed around 5/6 weeks and found out I had a SCH. It has since almost fully resolved, but at my latest ultrasound we found out that the two layers of the sac haven’t fused together pp. We were told not to worry and as the baby grows it’ll sort itself out and it’s not a big deal. Having said that my doctor still wants me to take things easy.

My partner already has two girls from a previous relationship. They’re aged 8 and 12 and they’re desperate for me to have a baby. They DO NOT know about my miscarriage. My partner wants to tell them TONIGHT about my pregnancy. My worry is we’re telling them too early and I would never want to put them in a position where they could get hurt if the worst was to happen. His point is he’s excited and he’s confident and he’ll explain to them about the first trimester being a cautious time etc, and my point is why would we tell them when they’re old enough to understand but maybe young enough to not really process it if something bad happens? I don’t want to think about anything bad happening because I don’t want to tempt fate.

When I had the big bleed I didn’t know what a SCH was and I was convinced I was miscarrying so I told a couple of my nearest and dearest for support (my mum, couple of best friends) and now he’s trying to compare me telling them to him telling his kids 🤷🏽‍♀️

But they are his kids and ultimately I can’t say how he should or should not parent them.