What makes your marriage work?

Question

I have a college assignment regarding marriage about couples who’ve been together for a few years, since most of my family is divorced I would love it if some of y’all would answer my questions!
1. How long have you guys been together?
2. In your opinion, what characteristics made your relationship successful?
3. Do you have any advice for other couples regarding having a successful marriage/relationship?
I would really appreciate your feedback, thank you in advance!

Answer

3 years
Respect and honesty is key
Never go to bed angry
Love everything even their flaws
Appreciate them, show it

Answer

Together for 8 years total, married for 3.5 years.
I agree with what everyone else has said! And also...Never stop trying, never let your relationship fall out of that new, exciting, "honeymoon" phase. Never stop trying to make your spouse fall in love with you even if the love is already there. Keep going on dates and making time for just the 2 of you, keep writing silly love notes or texts to each other. My parents have been married 34 years and my grandparents have been married 66 years and both couples still act like young kids newly in love and i truly believe, on top of communicating and honesty, it makes a difference 😊

Answer

married 3 years this June, together for 6 years. we also have a one year old son. 
since DAY one we have been open about everything, from our past history, to our future goals and values. 
be with someone you don't need to chase after. be with someone who you don't need to change, but changes on their own to better relationship for both of you. 
be able to laugh at your mistakes together and build from them. if something is bothering you, talk to them. stand up for what you want. 
my parents have been married 30+ years and hate each other. my mom complains about my dad all the time, he doesn't listen to her, and treats her poorly. but she doesn't stand up for herself, and she allows it to keep happening. when I hear them fight it's honestly like two small children. they bicker about the stupidest stuff. 
communication and listening are seriously keys to being happy together. 
be yourself. let that fart slip out. talk about that gross toenail your hiding under your sock. don't always hog the radio in the car, take turns. surprise them.

Answer

We have known each other for 10 years, lived together for 6 years, and been married less than a year. 
We are best friends. I know people always say that. But he is the person I am most comfortable with on this planet. The person I can totally fall apart to. He loves me deeper when I can’t give him the best parts of me. And vice versa. 
We talk about our problems and our needs. We TALK about them. We do not yell. We do not fight. We respectfully listen to the other person. We acknowledge the other ones thoughts and feelings as valid and then respectfully lay out our thoughts and feelings. 
Your partner is ALLOWED to feel the way they feel. That is the biggest thing for us. For our success. My biggest piece of advice.

Answer

1. We started dating when I was 20 and he was 21. We've been together for 21 years. Happily married for 18 of them.
2. We always treat each other with respect and consideration. We discuss any issues that arise after we've taken some time to process it, never in the heat of the moment. We try to see the other person's point of view. And if it's something small, we don't even mention it. Picking your battles becomes important after so many years together. In most cases, I've found it's usually not worth the fight.
3. My best advice would be to make sure that you accept the other person for who they are before you marry them. Check that your morals and values naturally line up. You cannot change the other person. Do not marry someone because of who you want them to be, or who who you think they can be. Marry their flaws as well as their strengths. And make sure that they are committed to doing the same.

Answer

1. Been together 11 years 
2. Humor. We have fun together but know when to be serious. We lift each other up. And know what the other needs when they might not.
3. The only advice I would give is communication.. everyone says that he seriously.. your partner is not a kind reader if your feeling something tell them, if you need something and they’re oblivious let they know. Makes life easier.

Answer

1. 6 years next weekend.
2. Communication, humor, discussing things when there are disagreements.
3. When you have disagreements fighting is not worth it. Discussions solve problems waaay faster and no one can accidentally say something to hurt the other's feelings. Thankfully my husband feels the same so we have never had a fight and I think this has helped us the most. We end up agreeing on all things or making compromises

Answer

1. Together for 10 years, married for 8 
2. Characteristics: willingness to alter behaviors to make the other person happier. From both partners. 
3. My advice is listen when your partner speaks. Don’t wait to speak or try to get your point across. Be quiet and listen to their words and feelings.

Answer

Been married 15 years, got married in my later 20’s.
Things that work: being able to have fun together. It may sound somewhat immature, but I am heavily motivated by fun. For us, that means traveling a lot, and going on adventures, being involved in lots of community groups. 
Whats needed for long term success: I’d say COMMUNICATION is the absolute, number one thing that must be there. The longer you are with your SO, the more life experiences you have together, and some can change you or your partner. Always communicate, or changes may come as a surprise. Imagine feeling resentful over your SO leaving his dishes or clothes all over. Or not helping with the kids. Or maybe you feel like you need some time to yourslef. You never say anything, and one day, after a long time harboring these feelings, you just explode, and SO had no idea where that came from.

Answer

1) 7 years together, married for 5. 
2) communication, compromise, respect. Keeping the passion alive with weekly date nights and doing things we both love to do
3) advise would be to communicate when something bothers you. Don’t just push it under the rug. I did that for quite some time and when I finally hit my boiling point it was like an explosion. He didn’t even realize anything was wrong since I never communicated. Now that we got through that I always let him know when something is wrong so it never gets to that point again. It has been such a big help and I wish I was more open from the beginning!