Was this rape?
So I’ve kind of researched this a lot to see if what happened to me was rape, and on rainn.org, they say that the FBI defines rape as “penetration, no matter how slight, of the vagina or anus with any body part or object, or oral penetration by a sex organ of another person, without the consent of the victim”. I know that by that definition, that is what happened to me, but I’m still confused for 3 reasons:
1. My experience wasn’t violent
2. I didn’t say yes or no, I just laid there with my arms crossed (I hadn’t done anything sexual before that, but he had slept w multiple people, so idk if crossed arms makes it obvious that I didn’t want it)
3. I don’t think he thinks he did anything wrong.
I’ve been in therapy for months, and when I told my therapist about laying there with my arms crossed, she gasped and made it sound like that was very clearly a sign that I didn’t want to, and I’ve heard from other people that during sex, both people are supposed to be involved and touching each other, but I literally just laid there w my arms crossed, not saying anything or even really looking at him. I know I didn’t like what happened, and that I didn’t really want to do it, but I’m not sure if that was clear to him or if he thinks he did anything wrong. My therapist and close friends think he knew what he was doing, and that he was manipulating me into believing what happened was normal, but I really don’t know if it was obvious that I didn’t want to do that. I still haven’t had any other sexual experience, so idk what it’s supposed to be like. Idk if having my arms crossed was an obvious “no”, or if he thought everything was fine & dandy because I didn’t push him away. We also weren’t kissing or really talking at all, he just stared at me and kept going. Idk how sex is supposed to be, but I feel like that’s not it. To clarify: my main question here is whether or not crossed arms is a clear “no”