Divorce?

C
I got married in 2012 got pregnant shortly after. Our daughter was born premature while my husband was deployed. He came home and we fought all the time, weren't on the same page at all. I got pregnant soon after losing our first and now have a happy healthy 1 year old. After she was born I found out he had been cheating on me since we lost the baby. He had been emotionally and physical not there for over a year I had it and left. I spent a year away and couldn't decide to go through with the divorce, I started dating and have developed feelings for someone else. I'm just spent ... What do I do? Why can't I go through with the divorce or leaving him alone?