Need motivation!

As long as I can remember I've been a big girl 200lbs +. I have tried everything to lose weight! I'll be doing so good them my depression just makes me fall into a hole. I have went to the gym work my husband, who is A Marine and I hate it. I feel like everyone is judging me. I have tried pill, no soda, putting a picture of a for model on my screen saver or putting a smaller size shirt in my closet. In high school I went to the extreme of not eating for weeks, and throwing up what I eat. I have since moved passed this Because it was doing more harm then good. 😔 I moved out to California in May and that is the last time I weighted my self and I was at 225lbs, and honestly I was disgusted with my self And almost didn't go to my husbands military ball Because I hated myself. I recently did a boudoir shoot! I had a lot of fun doing it but I hate looking at the pictures! The doctors says I should lose weight, he says it will help me to get pregnant! I need tips tricks, help and encouragement, and motivation.

The gym at my apartment complex is now open, so I am going to check it out tomorrow! ❤️ Thanks y'all