What would you do?

Question

Okay so me and my husband have both decided that we don’t need to spank our child to teach her how to behave. I’ve grown up in a household where spanking is always the way to go and I just see things differently, now here’s the problem my parents have told me that when my child is in their care they will spank my child (my parents know my reasons behind not spanking my kids) 
Would it be wrong of me to not let my parents see their grandchild over them not respecting my rules? I feel horrible about it but this isn’t the first time it’s happened. Or do you guys have any advice before I decide to take such drastic measures?

Answer

I don't think that's wrong at all. I wouldn't let anyone spank my child.

Answer

We are peaceful parents. I would never put my children in a situation where they could be harmed either physically or emotionally. Raising children peacefully means showing them the same respect you would expect to be shown. Would you willing go somewhere where you knew you could be physically punished for your behavior? If the answer is no, then you know what you have to do. You have a greater responsibility to your children. If your parents can't respect that, then they can't be trusted to be alone with your children. Setting healthy boundaries with my mom is one of the hardest things I had to do as an adult child. But in the long run its a good skill to develop for all relationships.

Answer

I think you’re right. Even in households that spank, i believe that it should be reserved for parents only. If they can’t respect your wishes, then don’t let them watch the children. It’s your job to raise them how you see fit.

Answer

No one would EVERRRR lay a hand on my kid and if they threatened to they wouldn’t be alone with my child 🤷🏻‍♀️ and if they did it in front of me they would sincerely wish they hadn’t.

Answer

Honestly I grew up the same and also will not ever spank my son but I’ve never had family try to tell me I’m wrong or that they will go against my parenting rules that’s messed up and I wouldn’t feel safe leaving them with grandparents maybe supervised visits while you can be there otherwise not a chance

Answer

It wouldn’t be wrong at all. If they don’t respect your rules with your child, then so be it. They won’t be apart of it! My mom doesn’t respect my wishes so I don’t take my son over there anymore. If they really cared about you both, they would respect your wishes for the short time they have with their grandbaby.

Answer

It's completely out of line for a person to spank a child that's not theirs. I would never leave my child with anyone who would spank them.

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I don’t think it’s wrong at all and I definitely understand your reasoning; the only way my father would ever “discipline” us is spanking while my mom was the exact opposite, I truly always respect my mom more and held her opinions and rules  in a higher regard than I ever did with my father. I’d be front with them, tell them legally if they spank your child without your consent it’s abuse 🤷🏼‍♀️ and that if they can’t for some odd reason not hit a child then they really don’t need to be around said child at least not alone. If you still want them in the child’s life I’d for sure keep them from having the child along.

Answer

No, not wrong at all. Nobody spanks my children but me it their father.

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Although I have no problem with spankings in certain situations and ages I don’t think you are being unreasonable at all. If they do not want to respect your parenting rules then your child doesn’t need to be in their care. I’ve watched my family’s children for many years and some are ok with spanking and some are not and I would never disrespect their beliefs while their child is in my care.

What would you do?

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