Destination Wedding, Selfish or Not?

Question

Me and my husband got invited to a Destination Wedding. The couple has invited all close friends and family. I do not want to go and my husband thinks we should go for at least the wedding and a day or two after (They want everyone to stay a week at a cabin with them). My reason for not wanting to go is it is taking away from the vacation my husband and I were taking for our anniversary, which is exactly one week before they are getting married. We both can not get the time off for both. He says going is still giving us a vacation. We have NEVER been away for more than a night by ourselves. And I also think it is selfish. If you want to go away for your wedding okay go, and then come home and have a reception for family and friends. 
Am I being an asshole over this whole situation?

Answer

If I'm paying for my own wedding, I'll do whatever the hell I want. Not selfish to have a destination wedding, if you don't feel like going, don't go. Or, common sense would say to take your vacation around the wedding instead of a week later. Sounds like you're going to be kind of snotty about it if you are there though, maybe you shouldn't attend

Answer

yeah you kinda are. you should be hppy yall even got invited. most people would kill to get that kind of thing. just go and enjoy yourself. if your husband says yall will still get your vacation for a anniversary then okay. i mean, it is in no way selfish.

Answer

I don't think having a destination wedding is selfish, but at the same time the couple should understand they are asking for A LOT of people's time and money, and should not be offended if people choose not to go. 
You are certainly not selfish for not giving up your vacation days to go to a destination wedding. 
Also, I would not consider it a vacation to share my anniversary trip in a cabin with other people!!

Answer

I’ve always thought they were a little bit selfish, not gonna lie. It’s usually immediate family and close friends they can attend which is what some people want so if it’s ok for your family and everyone can afford it then why not?! But most people invite a lot of other people that can’t afford it no matter how far away the notice is. Like someone else said, I’m not spending that much money on anyone’s wedding unless it’s someone I’m really close to. Also the fact that they want people up there with them for a whole week is ridiculous and THAT is selfish. I recommend combining your anniversary vacation with the wedding though. Maybe go to the wedding first then have the rest of the week for both of you? That way you get to have both and you can get away from spending the whole week with them. :)

Answer

In this case, can you merge your vacation with the wedding? Go for the wedding activities for a day for two, then go to another hotel just the two of you for the rest of the week (or do this before the wedding). You don't even need to tell anybody, as far as they'll know you guys were back home.
Besides that, I do think that destination weddings are ok for immediate family as long as you're willing to pay for those who can't afford it. No one should be made to feel bad for not being able to spend thousands of dollars and skip work for you, now that's selfish!

Answer

I dont think its selfish to have a destination wedding but a lot of couples dont take reality into consideration when inviting people.
 I will pretty much never go to a destination wedding 🤷🏽‍♀️ I'm not spending that much money when it's not about me, sorry.
My husband's cousin was mad at him for a while for not going to hers (she wouldnt come to his bc it was in California and shes in NY) and hers was at a 5 star resort in southern Mexico and she did not get a group discount. There was 4 months notice and we dont have passports.