Ok so I’m due literally ANYDAY! I’m scheduled for induction in a little over a week, if baby hasn’t decided to arrive on his own. Well a little back story here .. I’m in a relationship with an old friend. We lost touch over the years, went our separate ways. We reconnected after I got divorced & began dating. I ended up pregnant, it wasn’t planned. I didn’t think I could even have anymore kids (I’ve got a 10 year old son & I’ve miscarried every other pregnancy). Ok so fast forward - I’m high risk due to medical conditions I have. I was forced onto bedrest in January, which was made clear if I didn’t follow my orders I’d lose this baby too. So I went on bedrest, it’s been rough cause I’m used to being very independent & being able to do for me & mine without question. So it’s been a rough adjustment. Then throw in the fact I’m on restrictions .. no sex is one of them. So I talked to him about it, he tells me he’s completely fine with it. He is concerned only about me & baby being safe & healthy. So months go by .. I’m still thinking things are great. He continually brought up his ex wife (which he has 3 kids with & they have been back & forth for 15+ years). Something felt off to me so I felt like I needed to look at his phone. EVERYTHING was deleted, which is a huge red flag for me (my son’s dad always cheated & was very abusive, he would delete everything). So I keep monitoring things .. it’s always the same shit. Well something told me to check the history on his phone. So I did & what I found was completely devastating. Ok I have an older sister (same age as my boyfriend), she is a former porn star. He has always claimed he doesn’t really care much for her as a person & he doesn’t find her attractive. He asked that she not be at the hospital when I have our baby. I never argued it, her & I aren’t on the best terms right now anyhow. So ok I found her porn on his phone! I’m completely devastated. I already don’t feel attractive, I’ve gained a lot of weight with my pregnancy & this pregnancy has caused me to have stretch marks I didn’t have before. Not to mention I feel worthless because I haven’t been able to work in months. I’m depressed as it is .. next week will be the anniversary of my brother’s death & the following week is the anniversary of my mom’s death. Then adding that I’m hormonal as all get out Being I am 9 months pregnant! I don’t know what to do .. I feel like I should be enjoying the last days of my pregnancy since this is my last, but I’m so devastated by everything going on I don’t feel like I can enjoy it.