I’m starting to think I am getting in a depressed state. But it’s hard to tell if it’s depression or just sadness from my recent second loss. I have felt okay the last few days and have just been thinking more about ttc again and hopeful it will work out next time. But then tonight I was just thinking about how the baby I would have had at Thanksgiving and Christmas this year isn’t going to happen. Not that there’s not more Thanksgivings and Christmas’ but it won’t be happening this year. I was so excited and had so many plans already and they were all just taken from me. Again. I know I’m not the only one to feel this way. And that breaks my heart too. Why do so many of us have to go through this hurt? There were SO many posts on my Facebook recently of couples announcing and their due dates being October, which would have been mine. And when I saw them I was so excited that I would be posting mine soon too. But then that was taken as well. Why did I have to be the one this happened to? Not that I would ever wish this pain on anyone. But why me? I just don’t feel good tonight.