So. I dont know if any of u have seen my other posts. But after being seperated for 3 months, my husband showed back up in my life.

I had put so much into getting myself clean and ready for baby.

He swore he was clean when he got here. And hes actually taken 2 drug tests for jobs and passed both!! I gave him another chance.

This is his son. And hes a good man.

Just drugs... They ruined everything. So hes been back for about 3 weeks, got a job, was participating in baby stuff that he wasnt before.

We relocated to a town where we could get jobs and a place to live. But in the meantime, weve been homeless and staying in a hotel. We live in a college town and being spring and the end of the school year, the only thing available has been student housing.

Yesterday i went into preterm labor. Went to the hospital and he was there for every moment. Except for when he stepped out to call on an apartment we were supposed to go look at. They kept me until baby looked good and contractions had stopped.

When we got up he was getting ready to go get his first check and the manager came and said we had to pay now or get out. He went to go get his check... It was postdated til tomorrow. The hotel refused to work with us. Or our friend that was trying to pay over the phone for us. It was ridiculous!!

So contracting and crying because we didnt have a clue what to do we got the room packed up. They gave us the deposit back!! I was shocked!! My friend picked us up and took us to a different hotel.

Right as we got checked in, we were pulling into our spot to unload her car and next thing i know he's sprawled out on the hood getting arrested!!

Apparently, my "friend" who hates him, called dcfs on us. Told them were using again and the baby's not safe.

We are not using.

He has a warrant from here over a year ago. Or we thought he did. And they said he does and has one from Colorado too. We knew about the one here. He actually has already arranged with work to take off Tues for court. So he could go take care of it!! But apparently the one in colorado is extriditable. And has 6 mos to 5 years in prison...!!

The part that hurts the most... He thinks i did this!! He thinks i turned him in!! Why would i?!?! He was doing so good!! And everything i have told him he had to do, hes done or is doing!! Hes been incredible!! We still have our issues... But who doesnt?!

What do i do?! Im 8 months pregnant. I went into labor my first day back to work. I can't do this alone!! Not with both hands and one foot tied behind my back!! Im terrified and heartbroken!!

All i can do is keep trying... And thats what im doing!! With every breath left in me. This wont change my sobriety!! I can only pray that he feels the same.

The thing is... While we were separated, he text me... On my birthday to tell me he had been with 3 other girls...

I was heartbroken. But i left him. I had moved back to get clean.

My friend gave my number to this guy... Absolute sweetheart. Was even starting to ... Idk ... Care!!

When i told new guy husband is back and i have to let him have a chance at being a dad, he said good luck and blocked me and unfriended me.

Im laying here tonight, his phone keeps going off (cops left it with me) its hot ass girls on his messenger. Mostly girls accepting his friend requests.

I can't help but wonder what i let go of for what?? I love him. And this is his son. And im terrified of what he'll do if i ... Even if i stayed faithful, he'd never believe me. I know its too fresh and raw. And im just hurt. All of our marriage now is just too much hurt.

That was a huge part of what made new guy so attractive and exciting!! I didnt have to face all of every indiscretion over the past 13 years. Real or not, mine or his...

It was just nice to have a clean fresh thing with a guy who wanted to know me.

But i really miss new guy and im dying to text him. What do i do?!