Today is day 12 late with no positives. We've been trying for 11 months and nothing. I'm beginning to lose hope as I see my SO's eyes drop when I come out of the bathroom with another negative result. Another month of trying, tracking, tears and totally aloneness. But I see that all my friends have children and a few of the girls that are you younger than me ( my little brothers friends) are pregnant and they're teens. 17 years old and having a baby. I'm 20 years old and would love to have the thing they're crying about. It's not like I'm saying that teen moms are gonna be bad moms because they're teens but ugh I'm so tired of hearing how she should have used  BC or how she wishes it had never happened how she wants to get rid of her baby. I want a baby so bad it breaks my heart to hear that anyone could not love their child.  On Facebook I have 21 friends right now that are pregnant or just had their babies. One of those friends was pregnant with twins and I just ask God for the strength to not comment on their post about how hard life is with a baby or two babies. Because all I want to say is suck it up butter cup and realize that you were blessed with the gift of fertility. A lot of women I know  Would die for that gift. For the ability to just have sex and get pregnant. But no U.S. Women that are TTC long term and nothing is happening we have to track our lives like prisoners because that's what we are, prisoners to our own infertility. Tracking what we eat what we drink how many times we've had sex and how many days past ovulation we are how much money we've spent on tests and so many other things. I just want a baby. It is my truest want In Life. Sorry for the long rant.