The only thing that comes to mind when I dig into my memory of the past, is the horror that people have made me suffer. Before, I was a pretty girl with braided hair, sparkling eyes, love and insupportable empathy, innocent and pure and yet colored soul. Then, there was this year, the year that broke everything, more the people than the year but it destroyed me in a thousand pieces and leave trailed without any regret, leaving me exhausted, bruised and all the adjectives that can describe a person sad and in bad shape. It will be marked in my head for my life. Demon, Cannibal, Wild, Creep, Freak, Weird, and more. For the most useless reasons I was their favorite torture toys. Everyday, on the bus it was the same thing, the same scenario, the same story in a loop. Many times I wanted to end my life, I mutilated myself and then lied to my friends too. What kept me alive was knowing that I had a family that I loved and that I did not want to hurt, I kept myself alive by telling myself that if I died my sister could not supportIt. But one day, I exploded. We had just got off the transfer bus and they surrounded me and my friends, they started telling me names, I was no longer able, I screamed, I cried and I found my pretty face crying on social media . I was no longer able, I wanted to commit suicide, but I did not do it, I survived, and now I'm not that girl, I'm a young woman, with a red, swollen heart who holds with two sons, and the head like a ticking bomb, whose brain is wary of all people. I am no longer an innocent, I can not go back in time. I will have to live with all this. But what I really know is that my friends will keep me alive, that they will do everything they can to stop me from falling into the black hole of loneliness Sometimes in the evening, I am sitting on my bed thinking and crying about the past, I cannot change anything. I do not want anymore to feel that way.