I used to read birth stories every evening when I was pregnant🙂Now, one month after, here is mine...If you are scared of labor-read till the end! (Although it’s a loooong story🙃)

I am a FTM and since the day I found out I am pregnant I wanted to have a natural birth. My whole pregnancy I read about it, preparing for it...and at the same time I was super scared of labor. And as my due date was approaching my fear grew bigger. But then my due date came-and went by. I was walking everyday, bounced on a ball, drank red raspberry leaf tea my whole 3rd trimester. I had no complications during pregnancy, everything was normal. So 5 days after my due date nothing was happening-I had an appointment at the hospital. Since I was 2 cm open they did a membrane sweep, hoping to start things naturally and did an ultrasound and said baby is 8 pounds (I’m from Europe, so maybe some procedures are a bit different here). That did nothing, so I got back 9 days after my due date-had another sweep but was still schedueled for an induction the next day.

That was the last thing I wanted, so I went home, bounced on a ball some more, hoping labor would start and went to sleep. At 11 mild contractions woke me up, and I was sooo happy-maybe induction won’t be needed! They were like menstrual cramps, just strong enough that they woke me up. I started timing them and they were coming every 10 minutes...and so they did until 6 in the morning when I had to get up and be at the hospital at 7. As soon as I got up, they stopped. So my boyfriend and I went to the hospital and I was really disappointed and scared.

At the hospital these mild contractions started again but only here and there. I was still 2 cm open so they decided to brake my water. It doesn’t hurt at all, I felt nothing, only a gush of water after. The next contraction was something completely different-omg, I thought...this is how it’s going to be??? I had prepared affirmation cards, practised rainbow breathing at home, wanted to labor on a ball, walking, kneeling, anything but lying. But they said I have to lay down for a while, because they broke my waters. Well all affirmations, evertything I was preparing for flew out the window when the real contractions kicked in. They knocked the wind out of me.

After some time I wanted to get up but wouldn’t let me cause I was bleeding with each contraction. So I stayed I bed...hours went by and I was opening but slowly. After five hours I had enough and asked for an epidural. The midwife said it’s too late for that and I can’t have it. “Great” I thought...So I continued laboring, I was super loud during contractions (I never thought I would be) and I was squeezing my boyfriends hand. After a few more hours I was dialated completely and midwife said I should start pushing when contractions came if I felt like. That was such a relief! Pushing took the pain away a little bit for me. But then hour passed, and two hours passed but my baby still hadn’t come. They got two more midwives to press on my stomach-still no progress. After three hours of pushing my babys heart rate started to drop and my strenght was gone after 10 hours of labor. They called a doctor, we tried a few more contractions with the pressing on my belly. I was crying that I can’t push more, so the doctor said she would use a vacuum. My boyfriend was begging for a c section but the baby was too far in a birth canal. I knew I had no choice but to say yes. So they did an episiotomy and used a vaccum to guide the babys head out.After three pushes, he was out, finally!!! And in a second it was clear why we couldn’t get him out-my baby boy was 9 pounds and 9 ounces (at birth I had 143 punds, before pregnancy 115).

Luckily my little prince is healthy and happy and I have a minor scar from episiotomy (that hurt for about 10 days, two weeks after birth I could sit normally). Talking about it and reading it, it all sounds so scary and traumatic but let me tell you-yeah, labor hurts, but you already know that😁when in labor you loose sense of time, you are in the moment and some survival mode turns on and you get through it! Just take it minute by minute and belive in yourself. In my labor everything I didn’t want in a labor happened, natural labor I wished for was miles away. But thats ok, I don’t feel traumatized, when you get you little baby on your chest- all is forgotten! I would do it a million times over in a second! So mamas, don’t be scared, I consider this the happiest day of my life with all the hard and painful moments included.

And sorry for a really long post😊