The constant circle

I ovulated April 6 AF due April 20. I keep having slight cramping/pressure/warmth in my abdomen precursor to my dang period. I’m going to be 35 in August I just want one of my own so badly. Its a big let down month after month. Been using opk the last two months and glow app the last 11 months. I feel like a ticking bomb and scared when I turn 35 my 🥚 will become geriatric and my window is closing 😟. Im so mad i spent my entire 20’s preventing pregnancy bc I didn’t want a baby daddy and ive been married for two years now!! It’s so depressing and sometimes I say for what? I quit smoking I try not to drink and extra careful about medicine i take so Im trying to make hospitable environment. Will this cycle ever end or I should just accept it wont happen for me