I can’t win

Last night my husband wanted me to, uh, pleasure him...and I was reading a book and told him i needed a few minutes to myself. This turned into a full on emotional argument about how he feels that I always need space and need time away and that I’m unappreciative and push him away and he can’t do anything to make me happy. I’m so upset. I explained that when the kids are hanging on me all day, and they finally fall asleep, I really need those few minutes to decompress and calm down. Me time. Am I wrong? I don’t know how to make him feel any better. I told him that I want and cherish time with him, and that me needing “space” has nothing to do with him or how much I love him. This weekend is my birthday party (which he organized) and he said now he’s not going because he wants me to have “time away”. I’m just so upset. Sorry for rambling. I feel like I can’t make him happy either and it hurts me that he’s he hurt.