Moms of multiple children: is this normal?

Question

I’m currently pregnant with baby #3. At the end of both of my previous pregnancies, I got the usual “what sort of birth control are you thinking of using after having your baby?” conversations. I’m currently 17+2 and today my doctor asked me if I was wanting to have my tubes tied after I have this baby. I felt like that was his way of telling me 3 kids is enough, but my MIL says it’s possible they bring it up with mothers of 2+ children? Is it normal for doctors to bring up tying your tubes after so many babies?! I was pretty offended.

Answer

it sounds like he was just asking to see if you explored your options, not trying to tell you not to have more children

Answer

Im pregnant with my second and my OB asked if I was thinking about it so she could have it in my chart for whoever does delivery. They aren’t going to wait until you just pushed out baby to ask, they are just planning ahead. Especially if, heaven forbid, you have to have an emergency csection they can just do it while in there instead of going back in later.

Answer

I worked in an OB office for years and this is very common. The doctors don’t mean it to be disrespectful, they simply want to get a plan in place to prevent any further unwanted pregnancies. You having multiple children already puts you at a higher ‘risk’ in that physician’s eyes of coming back in pregnant again. It’s nothing against you. Also a lot of insurances require tubal forms be signed and on file for a minimum of 30/60/90 etc days before they’ll cover the surgery. 
We had a young mom come in for her 4th child (she was only 21!!) and REFUSED to get her tubes tied which of course was her right. She swore she did “just fine on birth control”, but long story short she delivered her 4th child and came back pregnant with her fifth AND sixth children back to back. Finally decided on a tubal after #6. Sadly she’s was also on welfare and struggling very bad so sometimes the physicians just want what’s in your best interest.

Answer

I was asked when I had my 3rd. I think it's because most families are done after having kids after their 3rd, so they're bringing it up as an option if that's the case with you. It's easier and more cost effective to do the tubes at the hospital than afterwards,  so they're bringing it up as an option so they can plan and coordinate with the hospital and anesthesiologist in advance and have you do the consent forms ahead of time   (I know this because I had mine done during my 4th birth) vs the time comes and you didn't know it was an option or they're scrambling to get it done,  if that's what you'd want.  I don't think they're saying you SHOULD be done after your 3rd. I wasn't offended and I'm not sure why them just asking if you'd want it done is offensive.

Answer

I was asked what birth control I wanted after my first pregnancy at age 32. This time, my OB asked if I wanted my tubes tied, I’m 35. My SIL who’s 30, and on her 2nd kid, was asked what birth control she wanted. I think age and number of children are a factor in asking. I wasn’t offended when my OB asked me.

Answer

Im a mom of two , I had both my daughters back to back BY CHOICE & I remember my dr making rude comments about how fast i got pregnant with my second daughter but i thought she might have been concerned about my insides not being fully healed yet from first baby ..until after i gave birth then it was the "rush to birth control" comment that angered me so it wouldnt be a third right away..which i did cause two babies were alot & my husband was quite frisky after bby 😂 well now a year after my second daughter we will be trying for our third soon so screw you doc 🤣 !

Answer

My doctor asked me. I am almost 38 years old and this is my 4th baby, so I thought it was a reasonable question. LOL
I considered it, but then remembered that I didn't think I wanted this one until I found out I was pregnant and was so happy! I don't plan any more after this, but I am also not going to nix the possibility.

Answer

Oh yeah that's totally normal. My mom said they've always asked this..even back in the 80's. They don't want to ask usually until you've had 3..from my understanding  at least.

Answer

Yes it’s normal. At least here , you can’t get your tubes tied until you’re 30 or have 3 children. So they usually ask you when you’re having your third.

Answer

I'm pregnant with #2 and want my tubes tied. I have 3 stepkids I consider mine as well so this brings us to 5 kids. It's not personal but a lot of moms make the choice after 1 or 2 kids like myself and so the doctor is just giving you the option.

Moms of multiple children: is this normal?

Let's Glow!

The Top Baby Tracker App: Embrace New Beginnings with Tender Care

The Top Fertility Tracker App: Your Path to Achieving Pregnancy

The Top Pregnancy App: Nurturing Your Journey to Motherhood

The Top Period Tracker for Empowering Your Menstrual Health Journey