Last week I went to my doctor in a panic because I had been spotting for over a week. They did an ultrasound and didn't see a lot of encouraging things. They told me that the gestational sac was abnormal and that is often a sign of miscarriage. A fetal pole was seen, but it was very faint. They did HCG quants and those results weren't that encouraging either. My levels had gone up but were not doubling. My doctor was fairly blunt and said that while there was a fetal pole and my HCG was rising, there was still a huge change that I was miscarrying.

I basically began mourning my baby. I was ready to go into my next ultrasound and either see nothing or see something but no heartbeat. There were a few days where I just didn't feel pregnant anymore. I just gave up. I started blaming myself for miscarrying my baby. I didn't quit smoking until a few days after I found out. I blamed myself for being a terrible mother before I even got the chance.

I had my appointment yesterday and as soon as my doctor started the ultrasound they saw a strong, thriving heartbeat. The gestational sac was perfectly round and a beautiful yolk sac could be seen. My doctors were visibly excited for me. Which tells me that they thought there wouldn't be a heartbeat either.

I'm currently 6 weeks, 5 days. A week behind my LMP date, but I figured as much because I have long cycles.

So all is not lost. We're not in the clear yet, but my husband and my year long journey into TTC is not for nothing.

So you ladies out there who are struggling and heard discouraging news from doctors, just keep on moving. Don't mourn your baby yet. Not until they tell you it's time.

Our little peanut 💜

UPDATE: I want to say thank you to everyone that has responded the past couple of days. I can't believe this has blown up, but I am so glad that there are mommas out there that get encouragement from this! I didn't get much from my family as they all believed I was miscarrying as well and basically were just mourning for me instead of encouraging me. You all have made my heart so happy and I wish all you mommas to be a happy and healthy 9 months. I'm now 7 weeks and 1 day and had another ultrasound yesterday and my doctor said that everything is still beautiful! I got an even better picture of my little nugget!