Ever been divorced?

Question

I'm curious what makes someone divorce someone else. How old were you two when you guys got together and/or married? How long did you guys stay together? Did you guys have kids together? What caused the divorce? Have you remarried since? If not, would you or why won't you?
This doesn't really pertain to me. I never even been married. Had a lot of really shitty relationships besides the one I'm currently in, which is absolutely amazing. We have talked about the possiblity of marriage but if we do it won't be for a few more years at least.

Answer

I met my husband when I was 21. I got married at 24. I left him for the 4th and final time on August 17th last year. I was 34. 
Why did it end? So many reasons. Physical, emotional, verbal and finical abuse. Conflicting ideologies on what a marriage is, on what the roles and responsibilities should be. Communication and support issues. Sexual issues. And so much more...
Choosing to end a marriage, is hard. Sometimes staying is hard. 
When I left, it was because I had a moment of clarity, like a bell ringing through me. It said no more, I am not taking this anymore.
I left, but it took months to understand what had happened to me, to figure out what I was thinking and feeling. To process. I am still processing. 
Relationships are work. Sometimes we enter into them, not really knowing ourselves. Not knowing what we are seeking and why. I have learnt that these are important things to know. 
It would be easy to sit back and say my marriage ended because my husband was abusive. He was. But that is only part of the story. It doesn't take into account any of the choices I made. Taking ownership of those choices, has been a hard emotional experience. 
I still hope for a positive relationship in the future with marriage and children. At 35 it might be a little less likely, but I am trying to remain positive. I am not ready to date yet, quite frankly the idea scares the shit out of me. I have no idea how to date in the new world of apps and things after being in a relationship for the past 14 years. 
Would I go back and change it. I don't know...
I would not have become the empathic person I am now if it weren't for all shit I went through with my partner. I am able to see all side of discussions now. I have learnt how to communicate. I am able to see the complexity of human emotion, thought and decision making in way I was not able to before. I would not be me. 
I cannot wish away the pain of miscarriages and abuse. Or miss the loss of joy in moments of conection. Both are equally powerful. So in my separation leading to divorce. I choose not to divorce myself from the past 14 years. While painful my marriage made me who I am. It has made a more thoughtful caring person. I hope to be a better partner for my next relationship and have a better partner. Taking the things I have experienced to grow and learn. So it is with pain and joy I take the next steps and say, thank you next.

Answer

I met my ex husband at 16. We got married at 18. We decided it was best to split up when I was 20. My grandpa was sick and dying and he had a problem with me being around my family. Told me I always chose them over him, when in reality, I didn’t talk to my family very much, let alone see them, for the 2 years we were married. We didn’t have any kids. I am 25 now. I’ve been with my fiancé for 3 years and we have been engaged for a year. We met when I was 7 months pregnant with my son. I’m in no hurry, because no matter what, he is the one I want. We are currently 18w3d pregnant with boy #2 and are super excited.

Answer

I’ve never been divorced but my husband was married before.
My husband married his ex at 24 and they separated and filed for divorce at 28. He said they both acknowledged they never should have gotten married, they had a 2 year engagement and were slow to plan a wedding. She had a spending problem and bossed him around then got hard core into working out/CrossFit. He says they met so young then grew up separately. They did not have kids. I’ve never heard from her, their divorce was final 4 months into our relationship and she moved across the country with her new bf.
In a way, it’s a blessing he went through all this so he works hard to make sure we communicate well, our expectations are known, we have a joint and our own bank accounts, he knew the process of buying a house, we split chores, and he goes above and beyond to make sure I’m happy. We have a more “team” approach to our relationship.

Answer

Met my ex husband when I was 22 and he was 30. We got married in February of 2013 and I decided to finally end it for good not even a year later. I honestly shouldn't have ever married him, but I thought I wasnt going to find anyone else. He was an abusive cheating alcoholic. I was with him from 2010 to 2013. The divorce didnt get finalized until 2016. I met my husband in July of 2015, we got engaged in may of 2016 and married in July of 2017. We welcomed our first baby boy in November of 2018 💙💙

Answer

I’ve never been divorced but I was in a 5 year relationship from age 20-25. We just grew apart, wanted different things. I’m married now and I hope we never divorce but if we did I hope we’d both remarry if that’s what we wanted.

Answer

My ex husband and I met when I was 23 he was 22. We were dating less then a month before becoming pregnant. He quit college to move in with me to help with our daughter. We married when she was 11 months old, and were divorced by the time she was 3. For us I think it was multiple things, we didn’t really know each other, felt like we had to marry, in reality we came from very different backgrounds and weren’t invested in making the marriage work. One day he came home from work and hit our daughter because she wanted to eat his food while I was in the shower. I knew in that moment I was done because a child should never be hit and the cries from her killed me inside that I wasn’t out there to protect her.

Answer

Married 18 years; had 2 kids together; he was a major depressive but refused therapy and medication and instead tried to self medicate with alcohol and this caused a lot of stress and problems in our marriage. I finally had enough and had to stop fooling myself that things would get better.

Answer

I met my ex-husband when I was 18. We married a couple of weeks before I turned 20 and had our son when I was 21. We divorced because he cheated on me multiple times and I got to a point, when it happened again, that I couldn’t work through it again. I realized I couldn’t be the only one who wanted it to work. His true colors came out at that time too, and I realized that he had been mentally abusing me for the past couple of years - basically telling me that I had no purpose in this world. We divorced in 2016. I got into a really crappy relationship right after, which I honestly moved too fast into. I set myself up for failure there and ended up with a man who was ridiculously controlling and manipulative, and who began to borderline physical abuse (if you can call such a person a man. He shoved me during an argument, which is why I say borderline physical abuse). I got out of that relationship in 2018 and met my now boyfriend a few months later. We have been together for a little over a year now and he’s the man that I hope to marry. He’s great with my son, he’s loving and understanding. He doesn’t get angry easily. There’s so much that I could say about him, but I truly believe that he’s the one. Even my family likes him, and that’s saying a lot! They never did like my ex-husband or ex-boyfriend.

Answer

Commenting so I can come back later and add my real comment.

Answer

I've never been divorced but my husband has from his first wife.
The reason the marriage failed is because they didn't respect each other and both stopped putting work into the relationship and let it fall apart.. they do have a kid together. He was in middle school when they split but he is an adult now. They met in High school and got married right out of high school (which seems to be a recipe for divorce nearly 90% of the time). They were married for 21 years before they divorced but from what I understand they both stopped trying to save their marriage long before that and were just going through the motions for the kid until one of them couldn't take it anymore.

Ever been divorced?

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