I want to die

I don’t want to be alive anymore, I’m done with it all. Having a baby was never an option for me, yet I felt pressurised into having one. I’m 29 weeks and I should be the happiest I have ever felt, yet I don’t want to be alive. I want to die and I don’t want to proceed with feeling this way. This isn’t prenatal depression as I’ve been feeling like this for years, the hormones just add that extra push I guess. It’s not going to be long before I have my child and my main thought is to either leave him with the father once he’s born. I don’t want to do this.

This is NOT my life.