Finally almost 7 months later I’m sitting here writing My Birth Story

It all started at 20 weeks, I went into labor the first time. I went to the hospital and they gave me the injection to stop it. 22 weeks went back in for labor starting again. 26 weeks another trip. Truth be told these injections where causing my seizures to worsen so the couldn’t give it me anymore after this. 34 weeks I had severe bleeding. Like through a pad every 30 min. I went to the hospital. I was dilated to 2-3 cm. I had to spend 48 hrs there due to bleeding. So two days went by of off and on laboring. The contractions would come and then stop. But I’ wasn’t progressing. They checked me again Before giving the okay to go home. No change but his heart rate started dropping so they kept me another day. By now the bleeding had stopped. 24 hrs And still having intermediate contraction. At this point it’s been 3 days and I was 4 cm. 4th day I was at 5cm. No going home now, Not till baby boy was here. We thought this day would be the day so we called the in laws. But he didn’t come and they went home. I was put into my own room now since I’d be staying. I started having consistent contractions, That didn’t stop but was progressing. By 2 am on the 5th day of contractions and being in pain. Trying laboring in the bath with nothing working. We finally all agreed that I should get an epidural. I was then at 7cm. Thank the lord I finally got some rest. Around 5:30 the nurse came in, woke me up to check for progress. I was 10 cm and BULGING BAGS. She told me was getting the doctors to break my water and to push. I just looked at her like “wait what”. She said it’s time for the baby to come. Me half asleep. “Wait right now. Like today”

Nurse “yes, I’ll be right back with the doctor”

They came in prepped the room with a incubator and Nicu team was outside the door waiting. I had video called my mom since she live in Texas and I’m in Vermont so she could be part of my babies birth. They asked if I could push. I said oh yeah I got this. Few min past the doc looks at me and said did you feel that. I stared blankly. I wasn’t feeling a thing. Apparently I couldn’t push, without them telling me to go. But 2 pushes later and he was out. 5:30 am 4.9lbs 17 1/2 inch long. 34w 5days. 4 days 5 hrs of labor. Longest 5 days. Or so I thought. He came out purple cried all of a few times. I removed himding on my belly. Begging him to keep crying. His cord was snipped and then he was taken by several of Nicu nurses and into the incubator. 20 min later he was gone into Nicu unit. They told me I couldn’t see him till I at least peed. So three hrs later I started to movement back and feeling back I tried to walk to the bathroom myself and collapsed to the ground. I laughed, I couldn’t help but laugh. But then I cried. I just wanted my baby. Wanted him in my room. Wanted to hold him. But I couldn’t till I peed. Nurses came in and helped me. Then I finally got to go see him and hold him for the first time.

He only needed the cpap for 2 hrs and he was breathing on his own. During the first 2 days. I felt distant. I sat in my room and bawled for hrs. A nurse came in and talked to me. I thought I was a horrible mom because I didn’t feel a connection with my own son. Didn’t even feel like he was mine. I would hold him, I knew he was mine, I knew I carried him but it didn’t feel like it. She told me that it was natural and a lot of preemie moms have felt this was. After being able to breastfeed him the connection grew and I was so much happier. But not being with him 24/6 was still hard. After 10 days we got to bring him home. And he’s doing wonderful now. Growing like a weed. 15lbs 24 inch long. And happy lil boy.

First time holding him ^

Milk drunk for the first time ^

1 month photo my favorite ^

Big brother feeding him^

6month difference from the day he came home^

Tubby time^

Big sister loves ^