My boyfriend (29 M) and I (29 F) have been together for ~ 2 years and I’m 4 months pregnant with our first child. For the past year I’ve failed the nursing NCLEX-RN board exam 3 times. During the month of February I found out I was pregnant, I also received my failing NCLEX score, and then a few days later my father died unexpectedly. So the first trimester of my pregnancy was not a happy time. I didn’t realize the daily crying was not because of hormones until my primary care physician explained I was being referred to a psychologist because I had major depressive disorder.

At the beginning of March (my second trimester) I began to make a conscious effort to stop feeling sorry for myself and feeding the depression. I signed up for Medicaid, started seeing a counselor and began a new journey towards a career as a teacher. I’ve started the teacher certification process and my substitute teaching job starts on Monday! It’s mid-April and I’m finally excited about the pregnancy and I think I will be a good mom. 😊

But even though I feel excited and proud , there is still one person that continues to make me cry. My boyfriend has broken up with me twice during this pregnancy. He says teachers in DC don’t make enough money and I won’t be able to live off that salary. I’ve lived with him in a house he bought in Maryland for the past year and since I can’t contribute financially, I cook and clean. I clean up after my bf and his messes daily, but if the floor isn’t sweeped or mopped he gets upset about it. I’m not a good cook like his mother, so I stick to simple meals that I know how to make. But if I cook something that doesn’t fit his summer fitness diet, he calls me “selfish.” I ask for him to give me recipe ideas that are consistent with his diet and he responds, “I shouldn’t have to do that. Just make protein and vegetables.”

Last night, he went off on me about how he works 8 hours just to come home to have to cook and clean for himself. Next he stated that he’s too toxic for me and I’m welcome to stay in his house, but we should just be friends. All of this came as a shock to me because the entire week before he was showering me with affection. But if I’m truly honest he always dumps me after being sweet to me for a few weeks.

I think I’m in an emotionally abusive relationship. One day we’re amazing and I feel like we’re getting better, then he breaks up with me. I am at the beginning phases of getting my teacher certification and substitute teaching doesn’t pay enough for me to get a place on my own. Up here in Maryland I’m only surrounded by his family and friends. And I don’t believe social isolation is good for my recovery from depression. So I told my boyfriend that after the school year is out I will be visiting my family in Texas for the summer break. But in my heart I’m not sure I want to return to Maryland. Because of my uncertainty about returning to MD, my boyfriend wants me to sign written documentation saying that I won’t permanently move back to Texas. He states that he doesn’t want to be a Dad that’s only around his child every few months. I worry about how this emotional roller coaster of a relationship is affecting my unborn child. My mother desperately wants me to come back home to TX so I can have consistent emotional and financial support.

I just need advice about what I should do. I no longer want to be or live with my boyfriend in MD. But I don’t want it to be said that I moved back to TX out of spite to keep him away from his child.

*!*UPDATE: Boyfriend kicked me out of the house when I expressed my desire to move to Texas permanently. So I spent four days packing my life into my car while pregnant. He showed no remorse for his actions and said that he was justified in kicking me out since “I’m taking the kid all the way to Texas.” He is clearly not intelligent or compassionate enough to realize that he is toxic for me and the pregnancy. So I’ll be in Texas with my family for the remainder of my pregnancy. Thanks for all the advice and keep me and my unborn baby in your prayers*!*