Tearful throwback Thursday
Exactly one year ago today I was in a pretty bad place over our infertility and posted the below status. I can't believe now in just a week we go in to find out what our baby is 🏈👶🏼🎀 and I am so happy.
"Ok so I'm going to go on a rant and pour my heart out here that I truly hope most of you will read. For a little background in case you're unaware, my husband and I have been trying to conceive for 3 years now, and I recently started fertility treatments (so send some good vibes/wishes my way that they work). A lot of you don't understand this struggle, it's a stop birth control, do some boom boom then bam you're having a baby! Or there's an oops and bam you're having a baby! It's not that easy for everyone. The thing is, some of those "words of encouragement" you give are actually really hurtful. I know you don't mean to which is why I'm taking the time to hopefully enlighten you, I'm not the best with words but I'll try my best to get the point across. "If it's meant to be, it'll happen." BIG NO NO. Thank you for telling me after years of trying the world thinks I'm not ready but the crack whore down the street who's lost multiple kids to DHS already just announced she's pregnant again and this time with twins. Thank you for telling me that all of my hope and effort is a waste and I'm just not meant to be the one thing I desire to be in life. It's a simple statement but so incredibly hurtful. Another one is "Stop trying and it'll happen." Did you think starting day 1 we downed fertility meds, kept a fertility calendar/tracker, ran to the bathroom every morning to check OPKs, monitored sugar/various other intakes, and obsessed over what days to bang? No! Obviously it's not a bam happen kind of thing, the "if it happens it happens" turned into "why is it not happening?" to "is it even possible?". Things led up to the actual "trying" part of having a baby. I wish some moms understood just how truly lucky they are. I cry. A lot. You get resentful, depressed, and so on. I'm happy for most of my friends that get pregnant, but it's hard not to get angry when you hear about someone get knocked up like the crack whore I mentioned earlier. On the less angry side, I cry because the one thing women's bodies are supposed to do, what they were made for, mine might not be able to do. "You're young, you have time." No, no I don't. If we're having trouble now, what makes you think it will get easier with age? Your fertility declines with age not improves! I'm sure there's much more examples I could use, but these are probably the top three things NOT to say to someone trying to conceive. You might think you're comforting them with these words, but really it makes our heart break, it makes us go home and cry at night. Please take in my rant, and next time you learn a friend is having trouble don't say these things. This is really long, sorry, but I felt it needed to be said. I needed to get this off my chest."
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