Today was one of the hardest days of my life with my husband. I’m not going to get into details just because it’s still a fresh cut... however... I will say this; there is and never will be anything wrong with asking for help and admitting you need help. People around you love you and want nothing but the absolute best for you. They want you to be your greatest self.

If you are married and have a self sabotaging spouse, my lovelies, be selfish and walk away. To my couples who have gone through addiction during separate lives, whether it’s both of you or one of you, NEVER stop therapy. Never feel like you are alone. Cravings are a real fucking thing but do not give in.

You have so much to look forward to. You can be a couple and get through it.

You can be friends and get through it.

And you can absolutely separate and still do it.

The love I have for my husband is beautiful and the love he has for me is pure. One of the only pure things he had left to give and he gave it to me. I have made the conscious decision to stand by my husbands side as he goes through addiction rehabilitation. He has put me through so much in both amazing and awful ways. But listen when I say this... just because I am, does not mean you should. My husband is a closet alcoholic and was willing to go to rehab as well as take away his own self check out rights because he gets scared and doesn’t want to ruin it by leaving. HOWEVER!!! IF AN ADDICT IS USING YOU WITH NO REMORSE, YOU NEED TO LEAVE!! If they hit you, take your money, take everything from you including your friends and freedom, you need to leave. If you are AFRAID if your S\O more than you feel you can be comforted by them, you need to leave. If they do not take care of their children, you need to leave. If they cheat on you then come back to sleep in your bed, fuck them and you need to leave. You are worth so much more. They will never change unless they want to and they are LUCKY if you have stayed thus far.

You matter. You have always mattered. You deserve love and respect EVERY SINGLE DAY OF YOUR LIFE! Addiction is an uphill battle constantly. And I just want people to know that I have been on both sides of the spectrum and I understand. I wish I didn’t but gosh I do! I could not help others until I helped myself. Help yourself, and always do what is the BEST for YOU. Thanks to anyone who made it to the end. May your Monday be as powerful as you.