What is wrong with my sister? UPDATE#2
Girls I am really sorry about the long post but I have no one to talk about this so I need some opinions/advice.
So basically I come from a strict brown household and we happen to be Muslims as well which gives my parents a reason to be even stricter.
Both me and my sister went away for uni 2 years ago. I’m 22, she’s 21. I understand the whole ‘we are legally allowed to do what we like’ but it doesn’t work like that in brown households.
Well anyway, my sister goes to uni in the South of the UK and she convinced my parents for a semester abroad in Paris, France. She’s been there since mid December, so she wasn’t even home for Christmas (yes we celebrate it).
Anyway, every time I’d ask her for photos or ask her why she wouldn’t put a location on in her Instagram posts, she would always avoid my questions. She barely visited home since she was in Paris.
However, her behavior has been so fucking weird that I paid for a locator app and tacked her phone which said it was in the UK. I ignored it still. I asked her to send me a snap with a Paris filter cuz ‘I just wanted to see it.’ And she delayed it for as long as she could and then sent me some blank snaps with the filter. Later I found them on google. Moreover, my dad tried to go visit her in Paris multiple times yet I convinced him not to because it would be rude to intrude without telling her so he agreed not to go. My parents told everyone in the family that they were so proud of their daughter who was going to art school in Paris. Yet every time they ask her for pictures she makes an excuse like she ‘fell asleep on the train’ or didn’t have any time. Anyway, I went home for Easter this weekend so my sister came from ‘Paris’ as well. She logged in her art account on my phone but forgot to log out. Today, I accidentally clicked on it and saw her actual Instagram profile. She’s been posting from her university in the South, with her boyfriend, every single week. She never fucking left for Paris. She’s been here the entire time. And she has blocked me from being able to view her stories and highlights so I wouldn’t have ever known even when I had such a strong feeling in my gut.
I don’t understand why she’s been fucking lying to EVERYONE. It’s shocking to me. And how did she even think she could prevent my father from visiting her? Why is she doing this? I’m so confused but so hurt and I do t understand what the hell is going on.
It’s not the first time she’s lied about something so significant or massive. But this trumps everything else. What should I do? Should I confront her and tell her I know she’s been lying all along? I’ll never tell my parents but I’m extremely concerned about my sister and her well being. It’s insane. I don’t understand how she thinks she can even pull this off. Any advice would be appreciated, thank you xxxx
UPDATE 1: I forgot to mention earlier:
I let it all go because she sent me photos from a circus in Paris. So I was like cool, it says ‘circus de Paris’ so I was just being paranoid. However, today, while going through her insta, I found photos of that circus and clicked on the location tagged in those photos. Turns out it’s in a Parisian circus in the fucking south of England. She sent those to my mom and dad too who forwarded them in all family group chats and what not. My aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents, everyone saw them.
Just to add - I have a boyfriend too. And yes, my parents wouldn’t approve of either but I don’t understand why she’d lie about being in another country. That is fucking crazy to me. We both left home so it’s not difficult for her to be with him anyway so I’m so confused why she would lie about something so serious.
I think some of you are being extremely rude. She knows everything about me. We keep things from our parents for the mere fact that they are unbelievably overbearing. But she has gotten herself into absolute shit several times that I’ve had to get her out of without getting my parents involved. I paid for that app because every time I asked her, she lied. She has hurt me like this in the past and I had a feeling she was doing it again. I never EVER intervene in her life or personal decisions and if you asked her that, you’d know. But I am extremely fucking worried about her, especially because we have zero support from home so if anything happened to her/ or if she’s in any danger, I should be able to help. The least I should know is what fucking country she’s in. I would never tell my parents either. I brought up both my younger siblings and kept things about them from my parents my entire life. Especially because I personally took the blame for things so many times to protect them. The least I deserve is some fucking honesty.
UPDATE 2: To the lovely lady who asked about my boyfriend - no, my parents don’t know. It’s not acceptable in the culture at all which is why I can’t tell them. He knows it too so he doesn’t push it either. I owe a lot to my parents because they put us through private school until the 9th grade. They don’t help me financially at all, not even a penny since I left home. And I know I don’t owe my life to them as an adult but they expect me to. They claim to live in a loveless marriage for us kids, to see us settled and married. I cannot cut them out of my life or just ‘do as I like’ just because I legally can. It’s not simple. And I know a lot of people don’t understand that which is why I don’t talk about it either.
It is extremely hard to confront my sister because she’s woven so many lies, I feel embarrassed. She messaged me last night and said she bought coasters for me from a ‘vintage shop in Paris’ because she remembered I needed them. Although, that is so kind and thoughtful, I don’t know how to tell her that ‘you’re not in Paris though, are you’ I don’t know what to do.