I settled when I married my husband. I just didn’t want to do the dating game anymore. I wanted someone financially stable, who was done messing around and wanted to start a family. My husband is that guy.

But he’s also a doormat, non-ambitious, completely not the personality I would’ve gone for. Completely non-romantic and I feel more like a mom to a child, than a partner to a husband.

I wanted a guy who takes charge every so often, who stands for something, who can arouse me with uttering just a phrase. Who supports me as I support him and communicates with me.

I’ve been unhappy for years in this relationship always trying to work on it since I put myself in this relationship. I’m just done being the only one working on it. I made the dumbest decision to marry when I did (we married 5 months ago, 5 years into relationship), without stopping to really dig deep and reflect on what I want and need from a partner before making that kind of commitment.

I will not divorce, not after only 5 months of marriage. I will keep fighting and trying to make it work. I will give him clear chances to work on himself as I work on myself and I really hope that we can make it work