It still hurts

It still stings my ex deleted the photos of us and our entire relationship (friends and dating) off of his social media pages. I still beat myself up because I broke his heart so bad. He was an amazing guy, but I just wasn’t romantically interested in him like he was with me 😪😞 I tried to feel like he felt towards me, but I just couldn’t do it. I tried multiple times and just couldn’t. I loved him, but not in that way. Maybe in another life 💔😞

He actually let me go. We became friends again 6 months after we broke up for maybe 3 weeks before he figured out I still didn’t feel the same way, and he ghosted me. Just one night hung up on messenger video call, and never talked to me again. He drunk messaged me 2 years after we graduated high school (back in December) apologizing for everything, and then ghosted me again 3 hours into our conversation. Haven’t heard from him since. Last I heard, he was halfway across the world in Asia on a navy ship. I just hope he’s doing ok. We were VERY close best friends for 3 years before we dated for 3 months. Would Skype each other 24/7 as well as sleep on skype. If we didn’t, we couldn’t sleep. Texted 24/7 along with always swing dancing on the bay and him giving me piggy back rides. After we started dating, all that stopped and things just changed. Became very clingy and showed me off like I was some award he won. He became a jerk. We were inseparable when we were best friend and I just wanted that back 😪 I fucked up our whole relationship because I said yes to dating him.