Eating Disorder

Tara

So I’m going to start by apologizing if this triggers anyone.

Here you will read a bit of my background history and how it ties into my relationship.

I have had this issue since I could remember when I was younger, and it stemmed from family issues. I have a history of binging, but always being underweight or just about average. There has always been concerns about me under-eating, overexercising, or being ‘too healthy.’ It has taken a toll on me over the past 4 years, but with self-acceptance and realizing that every person is different I’ve been able to overcome it for the most part.

I know no one is perfect and it is normal to have relapses. It doesn’t help that I have seasonal depression.

I can definitely say I’m much happier now, especially since I know what life path I’m taking and I’ve been pretty successful in my endeavors this far.

I met my current boyfriend in high school when he was a freshman and I was a sophomore. We both had a thing for each other on and off during our high school career, but decided each time we would wait until we both knew what we wanted and we were in better mental states. At the time I was in and out of hospitals for my E.D. Bc I was 65/70 pounds at my lowest, and I lost some very close people in my life to death.

I finally decided to put that all to an end my senior year, and I’ve stuck to my journey since. It has seemed much longer than just 3 years, but it has been well worth it. I’ve learned so much about myself, my strengths, and values.

Back to what I’m getting to...After a fair share of relationships between mutual friends and those outside of our circle, we ended up going back to each other this past summer. We will be together for almost a year soon, and this will be both of our longest relationships.

I am 19 (will be 20 in 3 weeks) and he is 18. Our relationship has been so amazing and I’m so happy with how much we’ve built together. It’s been such a relief after all of the abuse I’ve dealt with. I can’t see myself being with anyone else.

One of the only issues that has bothered me the most in our relationship has centered around eating. By the end of last summer, with me getting a head start on my career, we both subconsciously started to piggy-back off of each other with our eating issues. We’re both perfectly healthy weights, but we tend to fall back into those habits.

When I started school again (living two hours away from him), I had a bad relapse and was very underweight. It got to the point where a friend flew across the country to see me even realized the extent of this, and sat us both down and had an intense, wake-up-call conversation. This helped him realize how much it did affect me then, and it helped for the time being.

Soon enough, with summer coming closer, I will be back living with him and am more than thrilled! However, when recently we both have been in and out of those habits again... I’m afraid that with us being together for a full summer will take a toll on our healths.

If anyone has any comments, inputs or suggestions on what to do, I just need to hear something. Whether it’s reassurance or ideas on how we can overcome this together, I truly appreciate anything.