The moment they take the baby to the nursery for her 24 hour check, I am wide awake!

We had an induction scheduled for 41 weeks, but at our 39 week appointment, her estimated size looked to be quite a bit bigger than expected (the estimation had grown by a little over a pound in two weeks). I know it’s all estimates, but the thought of risking a c-section because she’s growing so quickly was a bit upsetting. So we had our appointment changed to 39 weeks 6 days at 6:30am.

They called the day before to let us know someone had their baby over the weekend so we could come in at midnight if we like. We knew I would have to start the whole thing with cytotec, so that was perfectly fine with me.

After the whole checking in/settling in process, first dose of cytotec started at 1:30am while I was at a 2, not horribly soft, and she was way high up. Got softer before the next dose at 4:30am, and was even softer by 8:30am when my doctor came in to break water and get the pitocin started. Getting my water broken was the grossest feeling. Ignore the awkward or painful pressure of when it breaks, I mean the giant fishes that cane out immediately and with every movement the rest of the day. 🤢

The contraction monitor had started logging contractions during the second dose of cytotec, but I didn’t feel anything. Once the oitocin started, they were immediately rather intense and came every minute or two. Between the end of one and beginning of another, I had about 15-20 seconds to prepare. I lasted 2 hours before I asked for the epidural. I did it at the exact right moment because the anesthesiologist was in the next room, so it got done before things were too intense to sit still. It was a struggle, but manageable.

After about 10 minutes, I couldn’t feel anything so I slept mostly. They’d come in every hour or so to check me and change my position. At some point, around 4:30om the epidural wore off on one side. The anesthesiologist came back just as my bag of meds ran out so he replaced it and put something straight into the line to get it straightened out. The contractions were much more intense by then, and I did not like feeling them on only one side. I went back to sleeping and having them come every once in awhile to check me change my position.

There was a fear of c-section at some point when they noticed baby’s heart rate dipped (just a little bit) with every contraction. We found a position she liked, and stuck to that for awhile.

It was 8:30pm when I was finally at a 10, but she was still rather high in my pelvis. We started the pushing process. After the first hour, they had the epidural turned all the way off so I could feel more. After the second hour, she was low enough that they could tell she was going to come out sunny side up. My doc knew that this would take too long, given how many hours since my water had been broken, and that I didn’t want a c-section, so when she came to check on me, she stuck her entire hand up there, pushed babies head back up the pelvis, and slowly coaxed her to turn around. This was easily the most surprising pain after all the pain or pressure felt that day. Oy.

Two and a half hours in, I was ready to be done. I told them I was done. They could do whatever the hell they wanted, but I was not pushing any more. Cue encouraging words from nurses and doctor. My husband said “you’re doing so well, you’re so close!” I said “can you see her head?” And he said “no, but it’s been 2.5 hours and you haven’t yelled at me for doing this to you.” Bless his heart. The nurses also laughed because I asked him (around the hour mark) if he was okay. He passes out during certain medical things (usually involving needles, especially blood + needles) so I was worried he wouldn’t be able to watch. He was perfectly fine.

So the last half hour was me saying “I can’t do this” or “I’m so tired,” followed by uncontrollable shaking until the next contraction. At some point I felt the pushing feel different and I wanted to keep pushing and they said “STOP! Remember how to push like that and we’ll call everyone in.” It was less than the next contraction to get everyone in and ready, but it felt like forever and I scream cried at the doctor when she came in to say “they made me stop!” Two more contractions and she was out. 11:25pm on 4/23. 8 lbs 3oz and 19 inches long.

I had prepared myself for the possibility of a baby who would need a few days to adjust to the world before looking like a human baby, and I needn’t have worried. Except for her alien shaped head from all her time in the birth canal, she was absolutely perfect.

Afterwards, I got some stitches which only hurt after I asked her if I was going to need stitches and she informed me she already started them. The first 24 hours has been pretty good as far as recovery goes. I was able to pee by 6am, pass gas by about 10am, and I actually typed half of this on the toilet taking my first poo! It felt like a normal poo and now I just need to figure out how to wipe myself. 😬

Here are some pictures of Willow Raven!

First skin to skin (before I had to close my eyes and hand her off to my spouse for the rest of her skin to skin time.

First check up before skin to skin time.

The next morning. Pondering this earth.

Later in the day, during a quiet nap.