Relationship And Sex Advice needed.. poor communication

Bare with me as I try to explain the situation. Will be a long story. What it boils down to is I need help fixing the communication we have which will inevitably fix multiple other things. Also I don’t know if I should cut my losses and leave or stay.

August 2018:

I met this guy on Tinder. He is 29 and I am 21. He loves 1.5 hours away. We met hit it off, etc.

The relationship started more or less as a us having sex. His body count is over 100. So I assumed from the beginning I was a piece of ass. He made it apparent that if he wanted another fuck buddy he wouldn’t drive 1.5 hours for it. I agreed. From August-December we didn’t go on any dates. We hung out and watched Netflix and had Sex and drank wine pretty much every time we hung out. Towards the end of December/Beginning if January I ghosted him

Why I ghosted him:

He’s an extremely charismatic individual. Which I appreciate but he is also very much about himself. I grew an only child living in a house where I never had to question if I was loved or wanted. So naturally I want to feel the same way in a relationship. We had never gone on any date so I assumed that I was just a side chick so I walked away. I never felt appreciated. He doesn’t text very often more or less to make plans but never really for anything else. Never asks about my day and if he does his response really isn’t anything to marvel over. Terrible at keeping a conversation over text. Which makes it hard because we do only get to see each other once a week.

Where I’m stuck:

I’m very energetically giving and caring. I’m always asking how someone’s day is, I’m an amazing active listener however my down fall is communicating what I want. Whether that’s in everyday life or in the bedroom. So part of this is my fault. If I’m not communicating what I want how is he supposed to know? So in the beginning I just went with the flow. I didn’t ask questions about the state of the relationship. I wasn’t clear about what I wanted in the bedroom. Etc.

We started talking again mid-February and have started going on dates and doing other activities/adventures. All of that is great. I’m extremely happy with that. However, I still don’t feel like he genuinely appreciates me, which could be a love language deal in itself for those of you who have read the 5 love languages, I’m a words of affirmation and acts of service kind of person. I asked him to look it up and read about it, but that never happened. I wanted to know what he was so I could cater to that. Also the texting hasn’t gotten any better and I think that’s just going to have to be a lost cause. I also just feel like he doesn’t care in general. I will ask him a really deep question. He will answer it and then go on a tangent about himself. He won’t reciprocate and ask the same of me. I don’t know if these are unrealistic expectations.

Lastly, I have talked with him about this over text message not in person which could be my own fault. He is a sexually selfish person, I don’t know if he means to be or if he thinks he’s doing such a good job. But I’m at point in my life where I’m going to have good sex not just someone jacking off inside of me. How can I more effectively communicate with him what I want? I’m shy and sometimes I get nervous when I have to face to face communicate with someone something like this.

Are my expectations unrealistic? Am I stupid for being so hopeful? Should I end things?

If you have any questions or need any clarification, feel free to ask!

Thanks in advance for the help 😋