Husband is a scary father

I don’t know what to do. Our son is less than 2 weeks old and born 3 weeks early. My husband is trying, at least in his mind but I have a dozen wtf moments per day that he brushes off.

He sleeps 2-3x the amount that I do and constantly falls asleep holding the baby on his chest and in positions where he could easily slump over, roll off of him etc. Yesterday he went to hand me the baby to nurse while I was seated. He handed him over supporting his head but just dropped his other hand from the babies ass while it was still close to a foot out of my reach. He DROPPED OUR BABY 😬. He then screamed at me to pay closer attention and that I need to come up to meet him Bc he can’t “reach down”. I’m in a fucking chair, not on the floor. Why would the person seated under a boppy pillow to nurse come half out of the chair to receive the baby? I just can’t.

A little while ago I finished nursing, asked him to change the baby while I pump and came back 30 minutes later. Baby was in his swing with whole head covered in the poorest excuse for a swaddle I’ve ever seen. Husband was passed out on the couch next to him. His response when I screamed the baby’s head is covered! And ran to make sure he was still alive was just to stretch and say that “it must have slid down”. Probably slid down bc he actively chooses not to buckle him in bc “he doesn’t need it”. I have to go for a checkup soon (for my high blood pressure of all things) and I’m afraid to leave my son with my husband...

He keeps telling me I’m overreacting but I really don’t think I am. Our son is less than 2 weeks old and only 5.5 lbs. His entire face was covered by a double layer of swaddle material. If I’d been taking my usual 1.5 hr nap between feedings I think he could have easily suffocated.


I approached him again reiterating how dangerous that was and that if I wasn’t home his little nap could have KILLED our son. He of course said I was overreacting and I think I was so angry I was shaking as I fed the baby. He reads the news too and is well aware of the rock n play recall which boiled down to similar misuse. He chooses not to use the belt which would have helped hold the swaddle in place AND avoid rolling over.

He made excuses, told me I’m a dramatic asshole but before I left he asked me to show him how to swaddle better. So maybe I got through to him.

I really didn’t want to bring a 2w old to a doctor’s office (or anywhere). Our area has had a few measles scares recently.