So, this is going to be a very long and complicated story. But it’s needed and I really do need some advice. So here it goes.
I met my boyfriend back in October. We hung out all the time and after a week he asked me to be his girlfriend. I said yes and from there on we became the best of friends. Things were going well and then I started learning more about his backstories with exes, and friends. His ex girlfriend lived with him for about a year. He still has paintings of hers hung on his wall, and I’ve found multiple things of hers throughout the relationship which I didn’t get too upset over because i understood she had lived there for a while, and they were in places he wouldn’t look daily anyways, and didn’t know we’re still there. He also had a best friend, let’s call her Cali. Who he had made out with once and they realized it was wrong, stopped and never talked about it again, (this was three years ago) but they do still hang out. I haven’t met her, but plan to as I think she’s a nice girl, and seems to have no interest in my bf, and them having a brother/sister relationship.
He has another close friend who he’s known for years who lives with him. Let’s call him Jake. Jake is in another country for school and comes back on holidays, and summers, spring break, and stuff like that. When he came home for Christmas, I felt kind of out of place. Like I was third wheeling.
We have mutual friends also which I talk to about things and they say that him and Jake are very weird around one another and my bf had put his ex girlfriend aside when Jake came home. So apparently me and his ex have a lot in common. He also had a group of girlfriends he worked with, who he’d want to hang out with every week. Which I got upset about and very insecure. (He’s 21, these girls were 20, 19, 18, and 16)
Unfortunately, I felt really insecure in the beginning of April and didn’t feel like I was getting the attention I wanted. We had talked bout it many times and had fought over things like that. After a while he broke it off and said he doesn’t make me happy enough and I deserve better. I was completely heartbroken and couldn’t even eat. I felt so sick, didn’t think I could get over it at all, and then we had a talk one night after I got out of work. After telling me a lot of things about how he felt it was obvious that he was with someone else after we broke up. Come to find out it was one of the girls he worked with. I was completely devastated and felt like I wasn’t good enough. I spent a week to just think things over and he would text me and beg to talk again and how he didn’t want to lose me in his life and would cry to me about how sorry he was.
I had gone through this with my ex, but reversed. Long story short I had been with someone after we broke up and we ended up getting back together and I just felt terrible but none of my feelings for my ex changed then.
Since this happened, I forgave him and we’ve been back together for about a month now. I still feel insecure and unhappy. I feel like I’m still not getting attention and he says he’s trying his best but I’m not sure what to do or how to feel. Things are difficult and I just want my best friend back. I really want to be with him but how? Any suggestions?
If anyone has advice or has been through this, PLEASE leave comments below Id love to hear opinions and the outside view of this situation