How do I tell my husband what I want in our marriage without making him feel like a failure? I love him so much and I wish I could just talk to him. Every time I say something I wish he would do, he just closes up and says, “I’m sorry I’m not husband you wanted.”

Nearly anytime there’s even a slight amount of confrontation (I do try to be non-confrontational when I bring things up) he withdraws and closes me out.

How do I loving draw him out and not make him feel like I’m attacking him?