Sick of doing everything myself
I need to vent. this is going to be long so I apologize in advance.
Does anyone else’s other half argue with them that you have to TELL them that things need done otherwise they just sit on their phones all night or play video games? My other half is currently not speaking to me because I said to him earlier that it felt like he has taken a step back from household/parenting responsibilities and that I need help with stuff (we have a 2 and 3 year old and I’m almost 6 months pregnant with #3) and his response is how is he supposed to know things need done or that I need help unless I tell him/ask him. I was unaware that I needed to ask another full grown human being to help with household chores, feeding/caring for our small humans, or just anything in general. I’ve been doing almost everything (the only thing I normally don’t do is cook because I hate cooking and I’m not that great at it) and he says he’s always “too tired” to get to things right in that moment and I know if I don’t do it, it won’t get done (I.e. Washing dishes, cleaning, folding/putting laundry away, bath time for the kids, cat litter changed, garbage out, etc.) but he says I need to tell him what needs done. We work in the same place, we both get up at 4:30 in the morning, he gets dressed and walks out the door to be at work at 6, I get myself up and ready plus our kids and get them to daycare at 6 and have to be clocked in at work by 6:30 and we are together when the kids get picked up after work. He gets free time to do things just for him (play video games, sit and watch videos on his phone, go out on the porch by himself and smoke his cigarettes.) My free time is my 25 minute drive into work where I get to listen to my own music. I don’t even have enough hands to take my coffee in with me anymore when I’m carrying one kid and holding the other ones hand all the way out to the car.
I asked him if he needed me to direct him with everything, he said no, so I asked why things aren’t getting done then and he says it’s because I’ll just jump up ahead of him and do them which I only do because I’ve tried just leaving things go to see if he’ll do any of it and the house went 3 weeks without being cleaned, no garbage out, dishes sat for DAYS, it was just foul so I gave up and started doing everything again. I don’t know how many times we’ve had this talk. Normally I don’t mind doing everything since he half asses stuff anyway but being pregnant again and hormonal has made this a VERY touchy subject for me and confronting him just made him pout all night and he actually went to bed without me because he wants to be petty. I guess I expected he might up his game seeing me struggle to do what I normally do being pregnant again. Do I just go back to doing everything myself and not expect anything out of him again? Do I approach him again and risk being ignored for another entire day/night because he wants to act like it’s the end of the world that I told him something is bothering me? What would you ladies do because I’m at my wits end.